


Strange Love

by summerhaze3579



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-03
Updated: 2017-04-03
Packaged: 2018-10-14 07:53:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 29,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10532130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/summerhaze3579/pseuds/summerhaze3579
Summary: ❝They know you walk like you're a god; they can't believe I made you weak.❞





	1. Prologue

"Leaving the Volturi was the easiest decision I've ever made, love. It was leaving _you _that was the hard part."__

_"Well, I suppose that doesn't mean much now, does it?"_

Nicolai has been on the run from the Volturi ever since 1823 when he decided to leave after 500 years of faithful service. His gift is priceless, his ability to see the future making him a prize that Aro is furious about losing. His gift is the only reason he hasn't been captured yet.

The search for him stopped briefly for two years when Aro discovers another Seer named Alice, and Nicolai takes full advantage of that. He thinks he's finally free and foolishly goes to help the Cullens in a small attempt to make up for feeling grateful when Aro abandoned him for Alice, serving as a witness despite the fact that he thinks they will lose. He doesn't expect for them to win, nor does he think Aro wouldn't get little Alice.

He thought he'd be able to offer a little help to Carlisle and his family, then escape when things got rough. He didn't look at all the different outcomes that would befall him after coming to Forks, nor did he look at all the old wounds it would reopen, but he should have.


	2. Stay in the Shadows

     Nicolai knew that Carlisle and Esme Cullen would be looking for him even before they knew themselves. His gift was one of the rarest of all — he could see into the future. All gifts were different, and even though Carlisle and Esme's adopted daughter Alice could see into the future as well, they each had their limits. Alice could only see futures that contained humans and vampires, but no other creatures, and her visions changed constantly depending on the different decisions one could make. Nicolai's gift was much more limited than even that; he could only see futures that concerned himself.

     Which was why, when Eleazar told Carlisle that Nicolai would happily be a witness for his coven, he saw when and where he would meet the blond coven leader and his mate immediately.

     The marketplace he was prowling around at night in Spain was one of his favorite places. Everyone was friendly and there was so much _color_. He enjoyed color, especially since the place he was reborn in had nothing but grays and blacks and a horrible blood red he was forced to see in the mirror every day. He had learned to control his thirst — luckily, if there was anything he was good at, it was control, most of the time at least — and so his burning throat was hardly noticed by him. In truth, he preferred staying in isolation — he was less likely to hurt someone undeserving of pain when he was alone — but tonight, he knew he had to be where he was. He knew the head of the infamous Cullen family would not cease in his search for Nicolai, and thus waste more time in Spain than he had to. Nicolai would much rather get it over with so that Carlisle could find the other witnesses he had seen join with the Cullens.

     It wasn't hard to find the couple. They didn't have the luxury of olive-toned skin, so their pale skin stuck out like vibrant neon signs in the darkness of the marketplace. Carlisle had yet to see him, his blond hair swept back from his handsome face as his gold eyes — turning black around the edges, showing he needed to feed soon — sweeping across the main square where the dancing was. Esme, a small woman with chocolate-brown hair and the same golden eyes as Carlisle, was attached to his side, also trying to look for a vampire in the most hectic parts of the place. Nicolai didn't fault them in looking in the wrong place. The last time Carlisle had seen him was in the 1700s, when he was still in the Volturi, and when he had not hesitated in joining in on some fun whenever he got the chance to.

     Nicolai couldn't afford to be noticed like that, not now.

     Esme noticed him lurking in the shadows before Carlisle did. He must have made an intimidating sight, because Esme immediately grasped at Carlisle's arm and slid slightly behind him. Nicolai was used to that kind of reaction. He still moved like a Volturi member, smoothly and with a grace of something constantly looking for a kill. The way he walked often scared vampires away, because when other vampires saw him, all they could sense was danger.

     Nicolai raised both his hands as soon as she moved, his palms stretched outward. He slowed in his walk toward them, reaching up to pull his hood down and shaking out his dark curls. He ran a stray hand through them, causing them to look even more unruly than before.

     "I'm sorry," he said immediately, sticking his hands into his jacket pockets and rocking back on his heels. "I didn't mean to startle you, Mrs. Cullen." Her heart-shaped face twisted in confusion. Her head tilt caused her wavy hair to fall over her shoulder.

     "Nicolai," Carlisle said, voice soft. His face was soft as well, still kind, and Nicolai was thankful that he didn't hold Nicolai's past against him. "Did you see us coming?" Nicolai nodded.

     "I saw you here weeks ago." He smiled then, his nose scrunching up a bit as he glanced at Esme. "I'm not sure why you're looking for me, though. I know you need witnesses, but the details are a bit blurry at the moment." Since he had yet to make a solid decision on the matter — and since he didn't know what it was even about in the first place — he had yet to see the full outcome at all. He could only see bits and pieces, like snow on an open field, but nothing more than that.

If you have the time..." Nicolai gave one simple nod, then tilted his head toward a nearby building that held vacant apartments. It wasn't the most hospitable of places, but it would serve their purpose.

"I always have time for you, Carlisle, you know that." His respect for the man had always been great, and he wasn't about to turn him away now. "Come. We can speak more privately in there." He turned on his heel to lead the way, knowing the two of them would follow. He could still sense Esme's unease, but he didn't hold it against her. No doubt she knew of his history with the Volturi, knew what his gift was, and he had no doubt in his mind that Carlisle told her of how dangerous he was. Even if he didn't have a gift, he would have been welcome to come back to the Volturi at any time, because he was that valuable of an asset to have.

     One had to be wary of someone who was at the same level as Demetri and Felix when it came to skills on the battlefield.

     "Once again, I apologize for startling you," he said once they were inside, turning toward Esme Cullen and making sure his stance was non-threatening. He wasn't very tall, but compared to Esme, he was a giant. "It wasn't my intention. I just have to stay in the shadows most of the time these days, just to be safe." He was sure if Esme were capable of blushing, that was what she would be doing. She licked her lips, then offered a kind smile, stepping away from Carlisle and holding out her hand. Nicolai took it immediately, not wanting to seem rude.

     "Already in the past, I suppose." She let out a small, nervous giggle. "Carlisle has told me a lot about you, Nicolai. My name is Esme Cullen." Nicolai gave a soft smile, a small laugh escaping his mouth soon after.

     "I know. I've heard a lot about you, as well. Edward didn't shut up about you the last time I saw him." It had been at least twenty years before, and he and Edward had ran into each other in Paris. Nicolai had seen Carlisle bringing Edward to him briefly after Carlisle had turned the boy — he hadn't known what to do and had wanted Nicolai's help — but he ended up changing his mind, and the future had been altered. Still, Nicolai had seen his face, so when he met Edward in 1985, he had already felt like he had met him already. Edward, after reading his mind, hadn't hesitated to fill him in on Carlisle's growing family.

     "How have you been, Nicolai?" Carlisle asked once Nicolai and Esme had ceased with the brief introduction. Nicolai stuffed his hands back into his jacket pockets and rocked back on his heels again, a motion he usually did when a subject he found uncomfortable came up.

     "Well, the Volturi stopped searching for me almost two years ago, so I suppose I'm doing well. I assume that has something to do with Alice?" Word of the girl had reached him quickly; another Seer was gossip-worthy in their world, especially one stronger than Nicolai. All he could see was future concerning him only and the weather. Alice could see so much more than that. When he saw Carlisle and Esme's uncomfortable expressions, he let out a soft sigh. "I'm sorry to hear that. I truly am. I wouldn't wish Aro's greed on anyone."

     "I'm sure Alice wouldn't want his greed directed at you, either." Esme's voice was soft and comforting. Nicolai's stomach churned just thinking of the threat against her family. He gave her a brief nod to acknowledge her words.

     "So what is this about? What crime has Aro claimed you have committed?"

     "Aro believes my son Edward and his mate Bella have made an immortal child," Carlisle explained. Nicolai's eyes widened; a low hiss escaped his mouth.

     "Why would he think such a thing?" Carlisle and Esme shared a brief glance.

     "You know Irina, yes?" Esme asked timidly. Nicolai nodded. He had briefly visited the Denali coven in a vain attempt to learn how to feed on animals. He hadn't lasted very long. "She saw Bella playing with her daughter and assumed she was immortal. We weren't fast enough to stop her, so we couldn't explain ourselves." Nicolai glanced between them, brows furrowing in confusion.

     "Wouldn't she be able to tell? A human child is nothing like an immortal child..."

     "If we told you the truth now, you wouldn't believe us," Carlisle said in a murmur. "You would have to see her for yourself."

     Nicolai was silent for a very long moment. Everything in his body was telling him to turn the Cullens away, was telling him that this could bring nothing but bad fortune on him. He doubted they would be able to get enough witnesses to stop the Volturi; it would be a bloodbath, one he didn't fancy on joining. Yet Alice had been the reason Aro had stopped searching for him. She had given him a brief moment of peace, even if it hadn't been her intention. Carlisle had his respect, something he barely gave in the first place, and Esme's face held so much hope and gentleness that his heart ached.

     So despite everything inside him telling him not to, Nicolai said, "I shall see her for myself then."


	3. Little Miracle

The overwhelming smell of dog was the first thing Nicolai noticed when he reached Cullen territory.

     He skidded to a halt at the edge of the forest, nose scrunching up as he leaned away from the smell. Carlisle and Esme had warned him of the wolves helping them guard their little secret, but they hadn't warned him about the wet-dog smell. He cocked his head to the side, allowing his hearing to branch out. It didn't take him long to determine where the Cullen house was and how long it would take to get there. The vampires already gathered there to serve as witnesses weren't bothering to keep quiet, instead choosing to socialize with each other. Nicolai brought the hood of his jacket up, and then he was running, his feet barely touching the forest floor.

     He should have anticipated the wolves automatically chasing after him, since he hadn't announced himself. Only five minutes into running and three different wolves were already snapping at his heels. A low curse left his mouth. He immediately jumped into the air, swinging up into the trees and going the rest of the way to the house by jumping and swinging from branches.

     That was how Edward and Bella found him, perched on the lowest tree branch he could find that the wolves couldn't reach, with now six or seven wolves surrounding him. Nicolai was actually pouting, a bit put off with the cold welcome. He had assumed Carlisle would have called Edward and told him that Nicolai was coming, but apparently not. As soon as Nicolai saw the redhead staring at the scene with mild amusement, his pout grew even more apparent.

     "Edward Cullen!" Nicolai shouted, waving an almost frantic hand down toward the wolves, who all growled at him. "Is this how you treat guests? I'm offended!" Edward put a hand over his mouth to keep his laughter in, while the girl beside him — Nicolai assumed she was Bella — looked at him with a suspicious frown. Nicolai jumped slightly when one of the wolves barked sharply; when he glanced down, he saw it was one of the smaller ones. He cast Edward a desperate look. "C'mon, Eddie, they're making me nervous. Please call off your guard dogs?"

     Edward did, telling them quietly that Nicolai was a friend. A few seconds after that, Nicolai landed softly in front of the couple, brushing his hood back and offering Edward a bright smile. Nicolai could tell how much pain he was actually in — he always _was_ a pessimist — but Edward still returned the smile fully.

     "It's good to see you, Nicolai," Edward greeted, not even mildly surprised when Nicolai threw his arms around him for a warm, yet very brief, hug.

     "This must be the lovely wife of yours Carlisle told me about," he mused, eyes flickering toward the short brunette who remained protectively beside Edward. Even after he offered her a small smile, she still remained stiff, not moving a muscle. It was clear she didn't trust him. Not yet, anyway. Nicolai, sensing she didn't want to chit-chat quite yet, nodded his head respectfully toward her before his focus was on Edward again. "Where's this little miracle Carlisle said I had to see for myself?" At that, Bella let out a low hiss, her hand squeezing Edward's arm.

     "I don't like this," she whispered to him, eyes not leaving Nicolai once. He raised an eyebrow. "He was part of the Volturi, you said so yourself." Nicolai's eyes went to Edward's face.

     "You met Eleazar, and he was part of the Volturi," Edward tried to reason with her. Bella glared mutely.

     "Eleazar doesn't have a _mate_ in the Volturi."

     "Neither do I." His voice came out sharper than he had intended. He took a moment to compose himself. "He's not my mate. Not anymore. I have no love for the Volturi, I can assure you of that. If I did, I wouldn't be here right now." Bella still glared at him distrustfully. He didn't fault her in that. Most people tended not to trust him when they learned of his mate, or of his past as a dangerous Volturi member.

He froze when an abrupt scene flashed before his eyes. A little girl with long curly red hair running outside to greet him despite everyone's protests. Bella attacking Nicolai before the little girl could reach him. A small fight happening in the snow that ended in Bella losing. Bella hating him for the rest of his stay.

     He couldn't have that.

     "I assume you just saw that?" Nicolai drawled in a bored tone, glancing at Edward. Edward nodded once, then raised a finger to tell him to wait there while he went to get the little girl whom Nicolai assumed all of this was about. Bella crossed her arms over her chest, eyes narrowing dangerously onto him. He let out a small sigh. He had to keep reminding himself that she was a newborn, and that hostility was normal.

     "Nicolai?" He perked up at the familiar voice, a bright smile flashing across his face when he saw Eleazar and Carmen dart from the home toward him. Carmen reached him first and he wasted no time in spinning her around, arms wrapped securely around her waist. When he hugged Eleazar, he heard Carmen growl playfully at them. "I knew he would show up. Told you, Carmen." Carmen made a sound of protest.

     "I know him much better than you do, how did I know you'd actually be right for once?" she said, smacking at her mate's arm before turning toward Nicolai with a wide smile. "You don't even know what this little girl is. She could actually be an immortal child, you know." Nicolai shrugged his shoulders.

     "I trust Carlisle. Besides, I owe them. Well...I owe Alice." Carmen and Eleazar both grew solemn at the mention of her. Bella, however, sucked in a sharp breath — and then she was suddenly grabbing Nicolai's arm. He made a sound of pain as her fingers dug into his skin.

     "What about Alice? Did you see her?" she asked desperately, apparently her curiosity stronger than her apparent dislike for him. Nicolai tugged at his arm.

     "Can you let go of me?" he asked, tone soft but wary. He didn't have a good past with newborns, most of the ones he had met in his long life automatically thinking he was a danger to them and attacking before asking questions. Bella blinked, glanced down at her hand clasped around his arm, then quickly let him go, taking a few steps away from him. She mumbled a small apology, her hurting him having not been her intention. He shrugged what had just happened off. "No, I didn't see her. I haven't even met her. I just know she's the reason the Volturi isn't hunting me down anymore, so I figured I owed her a favor." Bella stared at him for a long moment.

     "Edward said you have the same gift as Alice, only a bit more...limited." Nicolai nodded, confirming her silent question. "How does your sight work?"

     "I can only see futures involving myself," he grumbled. Her eyebrows shot up in interest; she shared Carlisle's fascination with the gifted, it seemed. "For example, I saw Edward after he first turned when Carlisle decided to bring him to me. That never happened, of course, because Carlisle changed his mind, but I still saw it because it involved me."

     "So that's how you evaded the Volturi all this time?" Bella questioned, brows coming together between her eyes. "Whenever they decided to send someone after you, you saw it and was able to escape? Even with Demetri?" Nicolai's lips thinned at the mention of the tracker, but he nodded anyway. "But _why_ did you leave? Didn't you get everything you wanted?"

     "Bella," Edward said, now back with their small group, a bundle in his arms. His tone said that this line of conversation wasn't appropriate, but Nicolai waved his concern off.

     "No, Eddie, it's quite alright." Edward's scowl in response to the nickname brightened Nicolai's mood. "I left because I don't like being treated like an object. The only reason I joined in the first place was because of...of my mate." He broke off, cleared his throat, then nodded toward the bundle in Edward's arms. "Is that the little miracle?"

     The little bundle shifted, and then the same head of red curls he had seen in his vision was popping out of the blanket wrapped around her. She looked no older than three or four years old, and was just as beautiful as an immortal child would be, but Nicolai knew better. He saw the big brown eyes, heard the quickened heartbeat, and decided within seconds that he would be a witness.

     Edward chuckled.

     "Everyone else asked for proof," he said, his amusement clear in his eyes. Nicolai shrugged.

     "I don't need it. Contrary to popular belief, Edward, my kindness doesn't mean I'm stupid." He nodded at the little girl. "She is not an immortal child, that is clear. That's all I need to know." The little girl wriggled, looked up at Edward, then reached up to press her hand against his cheek. Edward laughed in response.

     "She wants to meet you." Edward shifted closer, resting the little girl on his hip. Nicolai could see the family resemblance between them. He was starting to suspect just what she was, and he forced himself to not ask questions. He had learned a long time ago that nothing was impossible. "Renesmee, this is Nicolai, another friend. He's very nice. You'll like him." Renesmee reached up to touch his face again. Edward laughed. "Yes, I'm sure he'll like you, too."

     Renesmee glanced at him shyly between her curls. Nicolai raised his right hand, wriggling his fingers at her. She immediately ducked her head, glanced at him once more, then stretched her arms out toward him and wriggled her fingers. Nicolai's smile grew wider. Without a hint of hesitation, he reached for her, setting her on his hip. She reached up to touch his cheek. He saw her thoughts much like he saw his visions. She showed him her birth — which was actually kind of gruesome, even for vampires — and then proceeded to show him that she liked him already, just because she saw him hug 'Auntie Carmen'.

     "Already to aunt status, I see," he drawled, shooting Carmen a warm smile. She beamed in response. Renesmee wriggled in his arms, reaching over to touch her mother's cheek. Bella glanced up at him, hesitating for a moment, before she sighed.

     "Yes," she sighed. "Nicolai is going to help us."

     Renesmee's answering smile was precious.


	4. Downward Spirals

The Cullen house was packed full with vampires and werewolves alike, and more than half of them hated his entire existence.

     He didn't blame them. He was sent out on a lot of missions with Felix, Demetri, Jane, and Alec, simply because if he was involved he'd be able to see what would happen. It came in handy in case rogue nomads or unruly covens decided to fight; they were never caught offguard because of him. Because of that, he had met each and every one of the covens in the Cullen house at least once, and he had been wearing a jet-black cloak and a golden necklace with the Volturi emblem each and every time. Their glares slid off of him like water. He didn't socialize with most of them, and the werewolves he planned on never seeing again anyway. He only spoke to the Cullens, the Denalis, and at times the Amazons. The rest he ignored. 

     That is, until the Egyptian coven showed up. 

     He recognized their scents before they even entered the room. The youngest two were new additions, two people he was positive Amun had created to replace the two he had lost to the Volturi. But Amun and Kebi remained the same. Kebi remained silent and Amun remained bitter. His bitterness only heightened when his red eyes trained on where Nicolai sat in the backyard playing with Renesmee. Amun was still inside, being prepared to see Nessie, but Nicolai still heard his aggressive hiss when he saw him through the large windows. He kept his eyes trained on Nessie, but his focus was on the conversation inside, his stomach churning with nerves. 

     "...is _he_ doing here?" Amun demanded. Nicolai could feel his glare heating up his back. It was the first glare he had received since his arrival that actually made him uncomfortable. "Last I saw him, he was joining that Volturi scum." Nicolai felt something small and warm pat his cheek. He glanced down to see Nessie with her hand pressed urgently to his face, small face crinkled with impatience and worry. 

     A silent _Okay?_ flitted through his mind, as well as how distressed his face looked to her. He smiled, assuring her that he was fine. She believed him just like that. She was off to find Zafrina or Jacob after that, her interests changing just as quickly as any child's would. He got to his feet, brushing his jeans free of dirt just as the door at the back of the house slid open. His body went very still, but when he turned to greet the person, it was only the boy and girl who Amun had added to his coven after Demetri and Nicolai had left. As they walked toward him, he took a small step away out of instinct. The boy raised his hands in peace-offering, much like Nicolai had done to Esme. 

     "Your presence seems to have riled Amun up quite a bit," he said, an easy smile flashing across his face. The girl was like a shadow to him, but her eyes searched Nicolai's face, like she was trying to find any dishonesty or malice there. By the way her eyes warmed, she didn't find any. "He's upstairs ranting to Kebi, so I thought I'd come out here to meet the guy whom everyone hates but the little angel over there seems to love." He nodded toward Nessie, who was being thrown up into the air by Jacob. "I'm Benjamin. This is my mate, Tia." Tia nodded her head politely toward him. 

     "Nicolai," he said, allowing himself to feel relieved. That relief went away quickly when Benjamin and Tia's eyes widened when he said his name. No doubt Amun had painted him and Demetri as traitors, which Nicolai was still bitter about. It wasn't his fault Chelsea had used her gift to manipulate them both to joining. Aro wanted Demetri, and he wanted Nicolai, and to get both, he manipulated both. 

     Nicolai had realized that, eventually. Demetri never did. 

     "Wait, _the_ Nicolai? The one who betrayed Amun?" Tia blurted out. She sounded oddly pleased at the thought of someone betraying Amun. Nicolai sighed in exasperation. 

     "I didn't _betray_ him, I was coerced into joining." They both frowned at him.  

     "How?" they echoed. His mouth twisted. 

     "They have this woman on the guard, Chelsea. She has the power to break ties between people, strengthen them, change loyalties." He gave a small sigh. "She broke my ties with Amun, so when Demetri left, I went with him. Not that hard to understand."

     "Then how did you leave?" Nicolai rocked back on his heels once, uncomfortable with the line of discussion. He answered anyway. 

     "They thought Demetri would be enough for me to stay, so they just focused on bonding Demetri to Aro instead." His teeth sunk into his bottom lip as he debated whether to continue or not. It was rather personal, his leaving. It still sent a pang in his chest when he thought about it. "It _was_ enough, for a few centuries or so, but then...I finally saw how corrupted they all were when I saw Chelsea bind Heidi to the coven. I hadn't been aware of her gift before then. It just all seemed so wrong after that. I tried to convince Demetri to leave with me, but he wouldn't see reason, so I..." Nicolai shrugged, trying to brush it off like he was over it, was over his former mate choosing the Volturi over him. "I left him."

     "You could've came home to us," Benjamin burst out, looking slightly embarrassed with himself afterward. "I'm sure if you would've explained, Amun would've taken you back in. I mean, with your visions..." 

     Nicolai's answering laugh was harsh and bitter, so different from his natural warmth that the two younger vampires shifted back a bit. Nicolai was dangerous. Even if he was warm and friendly, even if he didn't _want_ anyone to he afraid of him, he was dangerous. Just his laugh alone made them both hyperaware of that fact. 

     "I have no wish to be tied to that man. Just his presence here makes my head hurt. He did nothing but treat Demetri and I like prizes he had won and Aro had lost. Aro treated me like that, as well, and I have no desire whatsoever to join a coven that does nothing but envy what Aro has." Nicolai cut himself off there, sucking in a sharp breath to control the emotions swarming up inside of him. He hated it. He hated the hatred he felt for Amun and for Aro. It felt like they had power over him still. He wished he could feel nothing for them, as it would be much easier to deal with.  

     "What did he do to you?" Benjamin whispered after he and his mate were silent for a very long time, marveling at the brief moment in which they actually saw a flash of anger on Nicolai's face. He pressed his lips into a thin line. Despite him fighting the emotion, irritation started seeping through him. The thought of even _thinking_ about joining the Egyptian coven again made venom fill his mouth, made him want to tear something apart. All Amun did was remind him of Aro, and all Aro did was remind him of Demetri, and thinking about Demetri always sent him into the sort of spiral he would feel ashamed to tell anyone about.

     "Benjamin." Demetri glanced to the side. Edward was standing there, face unreadable, with Bella attached to him like a shadow. He wondered if they ever left each other's side. "Tia. Amun isn't pleased that you two are talking to Nicolai here, so would you please go back inside before he destroys the house? I don't want Esme to be upset to have all of her work ruined. She worked hard in creating this home." Benjamin opened his mouth like he was about to argue, but Tia gently touched his arm. They shared one single look before he was turning and following her inside, their fingers linking together as they walked. Nicolai's mouth set into a frown now, memories of Demetri flooding his brain.

     "God, I wish Jazz was here," Nicolai muttered, turning back toward Edward and Bella, crossing his arms over his chest. Edward smile gently at him, though it looked strained. Of course the mention of his brother would have hurt. "I hate having downward spirals." He said it lightly, but the seriousness was still there.

     "Everyone has a spiral every once and a — " Again, irritation seeped through him. He and Edward both knew that the Cullen vampire didn't have spirals and that between the both of them, Edward had the more control over his emotions, had a better chance of not slaughtering someone when he got upset. Breaking objects and breaking humans were two separate things.

     "Don't fucking patronize me," he snapped, making Edward raise his hands in a gentle reminder that he hadn't meant to come off that way. He had ceased speaking as soon as Nicolai's thoughts had turned down a darker road. For a brief moment, Nicolai felt feral, out of control. A red haze blinded his vision. Then he clenched his fists and took deep calming breaths that he didn't need. Slowly, he calmed down, and eventually he was left with guilt gnawing away at his stomach. His face dropped a bit. He reached out to grab at Edward's wrists, wanting him to lower his hands. "Edward, I'm so — "

     A moment later, his back was slamming into the thick trunk of a tree. Air rushed out of his lungs at the impact. He was suddenly very thankful vampires didn't need oxygen, because he would have been in a lot of pain if that were the case. He landed safely on his feet, rocking back on his heels. He allowed himself to feel bewildered, because he knew Edward wouldn't have done that to him. Besides, he would have noticed Edward suddenly acting defensive, would have been fast enough to stop it. With a shake of his head, his eyes went to the small form suddenly standing in front of Edward, snarls coming out of her mouth. Edward was trying to calm her, it seemed, but his efforts were futile.

     Bella had shoved him into a tree.

     Just like that, he wasn't sorry for his lack of control at all. He wasn't remorseful or friendly. He was so furious that the red haze dropped across his vision again. All he saw in front of him was a newborn vampire who had laid her hands on him. She was a threat, his mind told him.

     He didn't take kindly to threats.


	5. Loss of Control

     Nicolai could see nothing but red. Bella wasn't Bella anymore; she was a target, someone dangerous. Every single instinct in Nicolai's body was telling him to eliminate the threat, to protect himself. He barely even noticed the harsh snarl that ripped through his chest, up his throat, and escaped through clenched teeth. Part of him knew he should calm down, knew that attacking Bella Swan would do nothing but make him look untrustworthy to everyone there, make him look feral. It would make him look like the bad guy. Another part of him just kept reminding him that she put her hands on him, that she had started this, so he might as well finish it. He couldn't decide which part he wanted to listen to.

     Edward was the one who ultimately decided for him.

     Nicolai hadn't noticed, but he had taken a small, threatening step toward the newborn vampire, his body already moving to fight before he had made a conscious decision to do so. He always went into instinct mode when he felt threatened or someone attacked him, usually only snapping out of it if someone intervened, or if his fight with the other person was over. Edward decided not to let it get that, appearing in front of Nicolai and actually being brave enough to place his hands on Nicolai's shoulders.

     He was lucky, really, that Nicolai had a soft spot for the Cullen vampire. With the mood he found himself descending in, Nicolai was positive that if anyone else had decided to touch him, he would have ripped their arms off without hesitation. But he trusted Edward, probably more than he should, so his presence made his focus go from Bella to him in an instant. It didn't, however, diminish his anger or annoyance.

     "Get out," he hissed through his still-clenched teeth, "of my way." Edward looked like he wanted to do just that — no doubt Nicolai's thought process was making him a tad wary — but he stayed in his place despite his instincts, only squeezing Nicolai's shoulders. Tight enough to anchor him into that spot. Nicolai's eyes narrowed into slits. He found his body going completely still. Almost like if he even _allowed_ himself to so much as twitch, he would lose whatever control he had managed to get back.

     "No," Edward said firmly, jaw tightening, amber eyes burning. "I know you don't actually want to do this." Nicolai glared at him wordlessly, wondering how in the hell he would know what he wanted or not. Mind reader or not, he doubted Edward knew what horrible things he was capable of if pushed hard enough. "Come on, Nicolai. Think rationally for a second."

     Those were all the words Edward needed to say, and suddenly Nicolai was crashing back to the ground. That terrible red haze fell from his vision, allowing him to see things properly. Bella didn't look like a threat anymore. In fact, she looked mortified, like she couldn't believe she had just thrown someone a hundred feet through the air, the only thing stopping him being an oak tree. Of course she would have thrown him. He had come across as aggressive toward her mate, and she was a newborn.

     Nicolai had killed vampires over Demetri for much less in the past. Even a simple look, appreciative or not, used to cause both of them to launch themselves at the other person.

     "I..." He didn't know what swarmed through him more violently, his horror or his shame. He looked at Bella over Edward's shoulder, completely ignoring the fact that practically every single vampire had wandered over the moment they realized a former Volturi member had been thrown into a tree. "I'm so sorry," he choked out.

     Before anyone could say anything in reply, he twisted on his heel and darted into the very forest Bella had thrown him into.

     He found the highest tree within a mile of the Cullen house and didn't hesitate to climb as high as he could go. He found the highest branch that could also support his weight and settled there, legs dangling over. Looking down at the forest floor, he found himself remembering a time when heights bothered him. After a couple of months of being a vampire, the fear had eventually left him. Heights couldn't hurt him anymore. He could still remember those first few months when he would desperately clutch at whatever was near him when he was at the top of a cliff or tree or roof. The thing that had been near him was usually Demetri.

     He could still hear Demetri's laughter in his ears, could still feel the way his arm would wrap around his waist, could still remember the promise Demetri would always say, even if the fear itself was ridiculous and illogical. _Don't worry, Nicci, I won't let it hurt you._

     "You're a glutton for punishment, aren't you?"

     Nicolai sighed softly, looking down. Edward was already climbing up without another word. He knew nothing he would say would convince Edward to turn back around and be with his wife, so he chose to say nothing. Even as Edward rested on the branch across from him, he said nothing. Edward paused, listening for a moment, and then physically flinched away from him.

     "Why do you insist on torturing yourself?" Edward sighed, smoothing his face out. Like he didn't want Nicolai to know how much pain he could hear just in his thoughts. As if Nicolai didn't know how much pain he was in.

     "When you left Bella," Nicolai murmured, watching Edward's hands tighten around the branch, "how much did you think of her, even though it hurt like a bitch to?" Edward pursed his lips in thought.

     "Everyday," he admitted. Nicolai only nodded. He didn't have to explain why he asked; it was clear Edward understood. Nicolai put up a very good front that he was fine, that he was happy and kind. He made sure to appear to everyone else that he was okay, and the only person currently around him who knew better was Edward. Nicolai wasn't fine. It felt like half of him was missing, and ever single time someone even so much as mentioned Demetri's name in his presence, the pain was so unbearable that he wanted nothing more than to feed and feed and _feed_ until he just forgot who he was, forgot who Demetri was, forgot that he even had a heart in the first place.

     Nicolai took a shaky breath. It was times like these that he wished vampires could cry. Crying was an outlet, a way to let out emotions that people kept hidden inside for too long until they eventually exploded out of them. Without tears, there was no outlet. Maybe that was why so many vampires focused on vengeance and bloodshed instead of being sad. Spilling blood was a better outlet than just sitting there, wanting to cry but not being able to.

     "I'm sorry," he burst out, afraid of where his thoughts were going. Edward was looking at him in concern. Nicolai ignored it, licking his lips. "I'm sorry...you know, for almost killing your wife." That seemed to break the solemn tension between them a bit. Edward's expression shifted.

     "I should have stopped her from shoving you," he muttered. Nicolai rolled his eyes, briefly contemplating falling backward off of the branch just for dramatic effect. A laugh burst from Edward's mouth when that thought got to him.

     "Are you even remotely capable of not blaming yourself for things that aren't your fault?" Edward shrugged his shoulders. "Accept the damn apology, Edward." Edward just blinked at him, not accepting the apology but not declining it either. It was probably the best he was going to get. He turned his face away, biting the inside of his cheek and letting out small sigh.

     Edward, who apparently couldn't keep his concern in for more than a few minutes, timidly asked, "Will you be able to handle this?" Nicolai knew what he was talking about. It was quite obvious, really, considering their previous conversation.

     "Handle what exactly?" Nicolai found himself asking anyway, voice soft. "Be more specific, Eddie." Edward fondly rolled his eyes.

     "Seeing him again after so long," Edward clarified even though he didn't have to. "If just thinking about him makes you slip..." He trailed off, but his point was already made. Nicolai had wondered himself whether or not he could handle seeing Demetri again, especially on what could possibly turn into a battlefield.

     "I'll be in control," he muttered. He wasn't too sure if he believed himself or not. Luckily, Edward didn't bring up his doubts.

     "Will you be okay?" Nicolai shot him a small look, frowning.

     "No offense," he whispered, "but that's a very stupid question. You're not stupid. I'm not stupid. Don't ask a question you already know the answer to." Edward let out a small huff. He knew his friend was only trying to help —  _talking helps, Nicolai_ — but he didn't feel like talking about his feelings. Not in the detail Edward wanted to.

     "Do you think the Volturi will want a fight?" Edward asked, deciding to change the subject. Nicolai was relieved by it. Strategies he could easily talk about.

     "It depends," he said honestly, playing absentmindedly with the sleeve of the black sweater he was wearing. "It all comes down to the witnesses. If there's enough to make them pause in their mission to destroy you. This isn't a trial for them, this is your execution. If there isn't enough people to make them stop and listen, they won't bother stopping at all, and by that point a fight is inevitable. Even if they _do_ stop and listen to what you have to say, though, there's still no guarantee that Aro will pardon you. This isn't about the law for him, Edward, this is about him getting his hands on Alice." Saying the small girl's name made him pause, his brows furrowing in thought. Aro wanted someone who could tell him the future, and while Alice's sight was much stronger than Nicolai's, Aro wasn't particularly picky. He'd rather have one than none at all. Nicolai licked his lips.

     "Maybe if I — "

     "No," Edward cut him off, immediately knowing where his thoughts were headed. Nicolai let out a frustrated sigh, running a hand through his disheveled curls.

     "Edward — "

     " _No_. It's not an option." Edward's voice was a hiss. Nicolai glared at him.

     "Stop _interrupting_ me," he growled in annoyance. Edward didn't even flinch, too busy being annoyed himself with Nicolai's thinking process.

     "You're _not_ going to sacrifice yourself for us, Nicolai," Edward stated. "That's final."

     "Careful, Edward," Nicolai drawled, eyes narrowing. He didn't take kindly to being told what to do, not like that, not ever since the Volturi. 

     "You're _not_ doing it," Edward insisted, ignoring Nicolai's warning.

     "I'm already sacrificing myself just by being here!" Nicolai exploded, voice so loud that Edward actually jerked back. Nicolai shot forward, holding onto the side of the tree and grabbing the collar of Edward's shirt before he could fall backwards. He probably would have just landed gracefully on the branch directly below him, but Nicolai wasn't about to let him fall at all. Once Edward had regained his balance, Nicolai let go of his shirt and settled back onto his own branch, ignoring Edward's small thanks. There was a brief moment of tense silence before Nicolai spoke. "Aro stopped searching for me the second he discovered Alice, Edward. He wants _her_. He's coming here for _her_. The second he realizes she's not here will be the same second he realizes I _am_ here, and then he'll set his eyes on me again. I know I was still running and hiding before, but..." He shook his head. "They're good at finding people, Edward. Even people like me who can _see_ it. The first century that I was gone, I nearly got caught _so_ many times, and the main reason I wasn't was because I had always managed to hide in crowded cities with a bunch of people, where my scent was covered up by so many other things. Now...I'm in Forks, Washington. They wouldn't even need Demetri to capture me here. I'm not the fastest, all they'd have to do is follow my scent and I'm theirs. Not to mention the fact that they have Jane and Alec.

     "Edward, I'm going back to that place whether I give myself up or not. But if it can save you and Nessie and _Esme_ — "

     "And what if they take you back just to hurt you as punishment?"

     "I can handle a little pain — "

     "What if it's not you that's in pain, though?"

     Nicolai's mouth snapped shut. Edward gave a small sigh.

     "Besides, it's not just you that he wants. He wants me and Bella, too; he offered us both positions in the Volturi the last time we were in Volterra — "

     "Yes, when you tried to kill yourself." Nicolai's voice was sharp as he straightened up. " _About_ that, how _dare_ you, did you ever think about how _I_ would have felt, you _little piece of_ — "

     "My _point_ ," Edward rushed to cut him off, "is that even if you do turn yourself over, it won't save us, because he'll want more than you." They lapsed into silence once again. It was pretty obvious by that point that Edward knew a fight was inevitable. He also knew Edward was planning on taking a few crucial members of the Volturi down with him.

     Nicolai went rigid.

     "Edward?" he whispered. His eyes were trained onto a tree nearby.

     "Hm?" It was clear by Edward's nervous little hum that he knew exactly what Nicolai was about to ask.

     "He's going to die, isn't he?" he whispered, voice cracking on the word 'die'. His eyes rose to meet Edward's. "You're going to kill him."

     Edward's silence was deafening.

_I can't fight with you then_ , Nicolai rambled in his head. He couldn't form words anymore; if he tried, he would start screaming. _I can't. I can't. I can't. I won't._

     "It's okay, Nicolai," Edward whispered. "I would never ask that of you, anyway."

     "I hope you do manage to take them down," Nicolai forced out through gritted teeth, fingers digging into the branch he was sitting on. "For your family's sake, at least." Edward gave him a sad smile.

     "No," he whispered. "You don't."

     Nicolai knew that was true — knew that deep down, he hoped Demetri would survive even if it meant risking everything — and that just made him hate himself even more.


	6. Conflicted Feelings

_Nicolai dipped a finger into the water of the pool, watching the small waves flicker across the surface. He could see his reflection in the clear water. It was warped, not very clear or defined, but one thing stood out. His eyes, a bright, startling red that stood out like rubies with his pale face and dark hair. He leaned closer. They weren't as bright as when he first turned five months prior, but they were still unsettling. He thought the color would have gone away by now, maybe gone back to normal even though he knew from Amun and Kebi that the color was permanent._  


_Silk rubbed together as someone walked up behind him. Nicolai didn't bother turning around, already knowing who it was just by the scent. Demetri sat down beside him without a word, bare feet falling into the water and disrupting the surface even more. It completely erased Nicolai's reflection, making him release a sigh and lean away. He didn't need to look at himself anymore anyway. Yet when the water settled, he found himself wanting to lean over and look at himself again. Demetri's chin on his shoulder was the only thing keeping him from doing so._

_"Staring won't make the color go away, my love," Demetri murmured, lips pressed against his shoulder. Nicolai bit his bottom lip, wincing at the sharpness of his teeth. He still wasn't quite used to it._

_"I know," he sighed. Demetri nuzzled into his shoulder for a moment, either simply enjoying Nicolai's presence or debating what to say, Nicolai wasn't sure._

_"Penny for your thoughts, then?" he asked eventually. Nicolai shifted so he could properly face him, bringing his knees up to his chest and resting his chin on top. Demetri leaned back on his hands and waited patiently, eyes never leaving Nicolai's face. Nicolai thought hard and long before he chose how to word what he was going to say._

_"Do you think we will stay here forever?" he asked, motioning with one hand to the palace walls surrounding them, to the clear pool they were sitting beside. "With Amun?" Demetri eyed him for a long moment, face unreadable. Nicolai didn't know what he was going to say, and he didn't bother looking into the future for it. He preferred not to know what was coming when it came to Demetri._

_"Is that not what you want?" Demetri asked, voice soft. "To stay here?"_

_"I used to think it was, but..." Demetri licked his lips._

_"But?" he pressed softly. Nicolai sighed._

_"I feel trapped here, Demi," he confessed. Demetri's face softened, his entire body shifting closer, just in case Nicolai needed even a little bit of comfort. "Like I can't breathe. Having to obey someone that treats us more like carnival animals than family..." Nicolai shook his head. "I_ hate _it."_

_Demetri's response was immediate._

_"We can leave," he offered, words coming out fast, almost desperate. Anything to make the frown leave Nicci's face. "Whenever you want to wherever you want. We can just go, right now." Nicolai's lips twitched in amusement, a soft laugh leaving his mouth._

_"You would do that for me?"_

_"I would do anything for you, silly," Demetri laughed, shifting even closer and pulling Nicolai toward him, throwing his legs across his own so that Nicolai was halfway sitting on Demetri's lap. "I love you." Nicolai's face brightened, like it always did when Demetri said those three words. He leaned forward, capturing Demetri's lips in a sweet kiss. It only lasted for a few seconds, Nicolai sighing softly against his lips causing them to break apart. He looked guilty now, his frown back._

_"I can't do that," he said with another shake of his head. "I cannot ask you to leave your home for me."_

_The look on Demetri's face was incredulous._

_"Nicci,_ you _are my home."_

~ ~ ~ ~

     "Do you ever sleep?" Nicolai asked curiously as Nessie sat on his lap and continued to play with his iPhone. He never really used it to make calls, having it only for a few numbers, but mostly so he could play games when he was bored. Modern technology was a blessing, at least to him. Without looking away from the screen, her tongue sticking out of the corner of her mouth, she reached up and pressed her palm against his cheek.

     The "no" rang very loud in his head. Nicolai, chuckling, rested his chin on top of her head and watched her play on his phone, leaning back against the couch. As he rested there, he decided to filter through the visions he had been ignoring for the past few minutes. A wide, open field covered in snow. The Volturi appearing at the opposite end of them. The exact moment when Demetri saw him standing on the opposite side, his mask of ice melting within a second, his steady stride coming to a complete halt — Nicolai then remembered _why_ he had been avoiding his visions and promptly went back to ignoring that specific one, going to the next. This one was easier, Aro's greeting to him. Disgust was always easier to deal with than heartbreak.

     Then he went to the unimportant ones. The way his brain worked reminded him of emails. Obviously there weren't actually little trash icons in his head, but it was an easy analogy to explain if someone were to ask. Important visions he saved, stored away but never deleted. Others he shifted to 'read later' and others he just deleted entirely, though his brain always stored the information anyway, like a recycle bin. 

     He turned his head and smiled at Emmett, who paused halfway across the room when he noticed Nicolai was looking at him. His mate, Rosalie, paused behind him, eyes narrowed in warning. Both of the Cullens had avoided him, not having ever met him before.

     "Hello," he greeted, voice soft. Emmett unfroze and flopped down beside him on the couch, ruffling Nessie's hair as he went. Rosalie remained standing.

     "Hey," Emmett said easily, and Nicolai immediately decided that he liked him. He enjoyed easygoing people. "So, I was wondering — " Nicolai laughed.

     "Oh, thank _god_ ," he exclaimed, laughing a little bit more at Emmett's confused expression. "You _finally_ came over." He glanced once at Rosalie, then looked back at Emmett. "I saw you asking me to show you some 'badass Volturi fighting moves' over an hour ago." Emmett smirked back at him.

     "Why didn't you just come find me, then?" Nicolai shrugged.

     "I learned a long time ago that seeking out a future does nothing but change it." He patted Nessie on top of her head, telling her briefly to go to her mother. She did, handing him back his phone and kissing him once on the cheek before bouncing off. When she was gone, Nicolai turned back toward Emmett, shoving his phone back into his pocket. "Why did you come to me, though? Why not Eleazar?"

     "Edward and Eleazar both said that you were in the same league as Felix and Demetri when it came to fighting. Is that true?" Nicolai really hoped he had managed to keep the pain off his face when Emmett said Demetri's name, but judging by the way regret flashed briefly across Emmett's face, Nicolai could only assume that he had failed. He rushed to reply before Emmett could apologize.

     "Yes," he answered, a bit uncomfortable. "Yes, I was. _Am_."

     "So can you show us a few moves?" Emmett suddenly sounded like an excited child, face brightening. Nicolai licked his lips.

     "I don't know about that..."

     Rosalie's voice was sharp and unforgiving when it cut in.

     "Edward said you weren't planning on staying around if it turns into a fight," she snapped, making Nicolai wince. Emmett shot his mate a warning look, but she brushed him off. "You're only willing to serve as a witness, nothing more, even though your skills and gift could tip the scale in our favor. If you're going to leave us all for dead, the least you could do is teach us what you know so that we have even a little bit of a chance."

     " _Rose_." Emmett hissed.

     "No," Nicolai cut him off. "No, she's right." He paused for a moment, and then heaved a heavy sigh. "When do you want to start?"

~ ~ ~ ~

     Air rushed out of Emmett's lungs when Nicolai slammed him to the ground. Emmett, Nicolai realized, relied more on his strength than actual strategy. Nicolai didn't even have to use his gift to put him on his back. As he took a step away, Emmett remained lying on the ground, glaring up at the branches above him and not moving a muscle. Nicolai's lips twitched.

     "Jasper would have seen that coming," he teased. He knew all about their brother Jasper. Nicolai had been sent to contain the newborns during the southern wars in the 1800s, only to learn that Jasper had already been containing them. They had never met officially, but Nicolai had seen his fighting skills while he was watching a vision of the future fight with the Volturi.

     "Fuck you." Nicolai barked out a laugh, holding one hand out to Emmett and waiting for the bigger vampire to take it. He did, eventually, though he was pouting a bit.

     "I'm serious," Nicolai continued, taking a more serious tone. "I know he trained you when that whole newborn debacle happened last year. And _yes_ , I know newborns and Volturi members are different, but strength just won't cut it. You have to be _fast_." Emmett smirked.

     "Says the guy who has admitted he's average when it comes to speed."

     Nicolai crossed his arms over his chest.

     "Fuck you." It was Emmett's turn to laugh. Rosalie, from nearby, crossed her arms over her chest and frowned.

     "Stop flirting with my husband." Her voice was sharp, but when Nicolai looked at her, she was trying not to smile. Her hostility toward him had practically disappeared as soon as Nicolai had destroyed Emmett in a training session within five seconds and had made him stop gloating that he could take on anyone.

     "Well, I can't flirt with you because I'm gay as hell, and I can't flirt with Eddy because if I do Bella will throw me into a tree again." His voice was at normal volume, but of course it floated all the way across the yard to where Bella was training with Kate and Eleazar. Her head whipped toward his direction.

     "I _apologized_ for that!" she called back. Nicolai was about to respond, but Emmett was already talking, making Nicolai turn on his heel to face him.

     "There's literally no point in me fighting you," he was arguing. "You'll just see every move I make before I even decide to make it. This is more frustrating than when I trained with Alice." Nicolai pressed his lips together. He didn't want to tell Emmett that he hadn't even been using his gift at all, because he didn't need to. He was sure that would be a huge hit to Emmett's ego.

     Edward, however, was more than happy to crush Emmett's hopes and dreams.

     "He wasn't even looking into the future," Edward laughed as he came forward. It seemed Bella had abandoned her training session in favor of watching Nicolai train Emmett, and he could see more and more vampires coming his way or peering curiously from a safe distance. "You're just bad."

     "No, I just had formal training," Nicolai hurried to correct, whacking Edward in the stomach and mentally telling him to shut up. Emmett was openly pouting now. As Rose went to comfort him through her laughter, Nicolai turned toward Edward with a raised eyebrow. "Wanna go a round, Eddy? My visions versus your mind reading. Let's go." That garnered even more attention, and soon enough, even Alistair — who had locked himself away in the attic — was looking out of the top floor window down at them.

     "Ten bucks on Nicolai!" Emmett suddenly shouted. Bella laughed.

     "Twenty bucks on Edward," she bet, shaking his hand briefly. Emmett threw a brotherly arm over her shoulders.

     "You're gonna be out twenty bucks, newbie."

     "Bite me, Emmett," Bella said flatly. Emmett snorted.

     "Kinky."

     Nicolai couldn't help it; he burst into laughter. Edward, being the cheater that he was, took that advantage to launch himself at Nicolai. Nicolai saw it coming just in time, sidestepping and spinning around him. The crowd around them got quiet. Nicolai was focused now, half of his brain looking into the future while the other half watched Edward. He saw Edward faking left and then going right, but as soon as he started to move, Edward changed his plan. It continued like that, the two of them spinning around each other, landing hits purely out of luck but mostly dodging each other. Eventually, Nicolai got tired of the game after ten minutes and promptly kicked a large rock at Edward's head, laughing when Edward just _barely_ dodged it.

     "Impulsive decisions with no thought process is you kicking a rock at me," Edward snorted. "Nice."

     "At least I actually did something, Eddy."

     "Still childish, I see." Nicolai went completely still at the new voice, hands balling into fists at his sides. Gritting his teeth together, he turned to face Amun, who had pushed himself to the front of the watching group. Kebi was just staring at him with an unreadable expression. Benjamin and Tia were off to the side of them, both wearing displeased frowns.

     "Still a stick up your ass, I see," Nicolai responded, forcing himself to relax, forcing himself to sound light. He had to be the bigger person here, though his response probably wouldn't do well in achieving that goal. He decided to go with it. Better to fight him with humor than with anger. "Carlisle's a doctor, you know, I'm sure he knows how to take it out." 

     To Nicolai's growing frustration, Amun didn't seem to react at all.

     "So cheerful, too." Edward suddenly stepped closer to Nicolai, securing a single hand around his arm and squeezing. He wasn't sure if it was a warning, an offer of support, or if Edward was planning on holding him back. Knowing Edward, it was probably a mix of all three. "You seem...whole. Even happy. Did losing Demetri really mean so little to you?"

     Yes, Edward's hand was _definitely_ meant to hold him back.

     " _You_ ," Nicolai snarled, all of his humor disappearing within seconds as he took a quick step forward, "are _not_ allowed to say his name." Both of Edward's hands were around his arms now. Dimly, he heard Edward hiss Emmett's name, and suddenly Emmett was at his other side. It didn't matter. Nicolai could get out of their grasps if he truly wanted. Judging by the near constant growling erupting from his chest, that would probably happen very soon.

     "I made him." _And you_. He didn't say the words, but the implication was clear, and Nicolai was starting to see red. Nicolai getting upset was exactly what Amun wanted — it had always been one of his favorite games; _how far can I push sweet little Nicolai today?_ — but Demetri's name, as always, had unraveled him.

     "You hate him," Nicolai hissed. _And me_.

     "Yes." Amun nodded. "Which is precisely why I can sit back and watch him die." Nicolai froze. He had succeeded in not thinking about that for a week, distracting himself with nothing but happy things, like befriending Bella, spending more time with Edward, and playing with Nessie. Amun continued. "You won't be able to do that. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that you would fight anyone here just to protect him. Whose side are you even on?"

     It startled him that he didn't even know the answer.


	7. The Night Before

_Nicolai never very much liked heights, and that fact didn't change after he turned into an immortal creature. The palace he had woken up inside of all those weeks ago was perched on top of a cliff, overlooking a collection of trees. Nicolai tended to stay away from the cliff edge as much as he could. He knew it was irrational to fear heights when he was practically indestructible now, but it wasn't like he could just snap his fingers and his fear would be gon_ _e._

_He warily peered over the edge of the cliff, immediately propelling himself backwards. He knew he wouldn't like what he'd see, yet he had stupidly let himself believe his new immortality made his fear go away. He turned to walk away, a bit embarrassed with himself, only to run into someone before he could go hide under a rock somewhere. Arms wrapped around his waist, keeping him there._

_"Tell me again," Demetri drawled, tucking a black curl behind Nicolai's ear, "why you look down on a high surface when you know you're afraid of heights?" Nicolai scowled, ducking his head and pressing his face into the crook of Demetri's neck._

_"I am a vampire," he mumbled. "I should not fear heights." Demetri let out a small huff of amusement._

_"Everyone fears something."_

_"Amun does not."_

_"Yes, he does. He fears the Volturi. He is just good at hiding it."_

_"Everyone fears something, you say?" Nicolai asked, a bit curious as he pulled his face away from his mate's neck. He looked at his face now, arms going around his neck, fingers digging into the hair at the base of Demetri's skull. "Tell me. What's your fear?" Demetri's hands rested on Nicolai's hips, giving them a soft squeeze as he thought over the question. Nicolai waited patiently, choosing to listen to the river below until he responded. When he finally did, the words he said startled him._

_"Losing you."_

_"Losing me?" Nicolai echoed, raising a single eyebrow. Demetri hummed in confirmation, hands dipping under Nicolai's shirt and slipping up his sides. "What an odd fear to have." Demetri scoffed._

_"Why's that?"_

_"Well, because. It's as illogical as fearing heights when your body is indestructible." Nicolai paused. "You might as well fear something that has a chance of actually happening to you. Fearing death, heartbreak, pain, that's normal. But fearing losing me?" Nicolai shook his head. "It's illogical because it will not happen."_

_"You don't know that."_

_"Yes, I do. I'll never stop loving you; therefore, you will always have a part of me. How can you lose me if I will always be with you, even if we're apart?" Demetri was silent for a long moment._

_"I hate how romantic you always sound. I always end up sounding inadequate in response." Nicolai laughed softly, leaning forward to kiss Demetri's jaw._

_"Liar," was all he whispered._

~ ~ ~ ~ 

     The fire was only for Renesmee and the wolves' benefit. Nicolai knew that, but it didn't stop him from sitting down by it. He needed a distraction, and the stories being told around the fire would work well enough. His thoughts were loud, chaotic, and he couldn't find a moment of relief if he was left alone with them. The future kept changing, every small detail added affecting it in some way. A pain was starting to flare behind his eyes. Each decision shifted the future, showing Nicolai new scenarios for the next day, only with vaguely different results. Alice and Jasper showing up. No, wait, the plane was delayed; they no longer appeared before Nicolai asked Aro if he was free to leave after giving his testimony. The Volturi not stopping. The wolves stepping into sight, making the Volturi come to a stop. 

     Nicolai really wished he was able to sleep. 

     "Even I'm getting a headache." Nicolai didn't look away from the fire when Edward sat down beside him. Renesmee was sitting on his lap, and as Nicolai raised his head, Bella joined them on Edward's other side. "Tune them out." Nicolai gave Edward a droll stare.

     "It's not that easy."

     "Considering the fact that you're tuning out every vision with his face in them, you'll have to excuse me for not believing you." Nicolai shot Edward an irritated look, leaning over to look at his wife. 

     "Shut your husband up before I do it," he said. He wasn't in the mood for his teasing or his advice that Nicolai hadn't asked for. Bella didn't respond, only tapping Edward on the shoulder. Nicolai didn't watch as they switched positions on the log. He waited for Bella to pick up where Edward had left off, but she didn't. Instead, she said the exact opposite.

     "I don't think you should tune out any of your visions." When Nicolai remained silent, Bella took that as a sign that she should continue, leaning her elbows on her knees. "I know how hard it is, hearing the name or seeing the face of someone you've lost." On Bella's other side, Edward seemed to physically flinch away from the two of them, like the words had wounded him. Maybe they had. "But maybe you should prepare yourself. It won't be easy, and it'll be painful either way, but at least this way, you won't be so unprepared when you see him tomorrow."

     "I won't be ready to see him tomorrow no matter what I do," Nicolai murmured. Bella said nothing in response.

~ ~ ~ ~

     Just as Nicolai had predicted, snow blanketed the entire clearing the next morning. Since the Volturi wouldn't arrive for another hour, he spent the extra time with Eleazar and Carmen, who were staying close to Kate and Tanya. He leaned into Eleazar's side, releasing a relieved sigh when Eleazar wrapped an arm around his shoulders and brought him into a hug. Nicolai rested his chin on Eleazar's shoulder, releasing another sigh.

     "You alright?" Eleazar murmured. His voice was low, and while Nicolai new everyone on that field could hear their words regardless, he was still grateful for the gesture. He pulled away, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets. He thought for a moment, eyes trained on the far end of the field. On the spot he knew the Volturi would come out of.

     "Define 'alright'," he mumbled, rocking back once on his heels. He turned his gaze back toward Eleazar, releasing yet another sigh. He felt like he could do that all day, just sigh until it was all over and he could go back to being comfortably alone.

     "This is a big risk," Carmen commented, face unreadable. "You intentionally putting yourself on the Volturi's radar. Even if you do plan to leave before the fighting starts...it's risky, Nic." Nicolai only shrugged. He knew the risks better than anyone else could. He knew Aro would try to sway him to join him again. His only hope was that the amount of witnesses on both sides would stop Aro from doing anything drastic, like using Demetri as leverage, or offering to spare the Cullens' in exchange for his compliance. He doubted that the latter happen — Aro had a reputation to uphold — but he also didn't think it was above Aro to slaughter every single witness in that field just to save face.

     "I know what I'm doing," Nicolai said at last, not looking away from Carmen's gaze. "I've been running for centuries. Doing it again won't be a hard thing to do."

     "What if they send people after you as soon as you leave?" It was Rosalie who asked that question, about twenty feet away and attached to Emmett's side. With a start, Nicolai realized almost everyone on the field was listening in on his conversation, taking in every single word. He hadn't realized any of them had cared so much. Then again, all of them were comrades now, and whoever was a threat to one of them was a threat to all of them, and all of them could relate to fearing the Volturi.

     "I'll figure it out," he told her, though he wasn't sure he even believed his own words. "I always have before."

     "How did you outrun Dem — uh, I mean — " Nicolai smiled gently at Emmett, making him lapse into silence.

     "They never sent Demetri himself after me. I think Aro thought it was too risky." Nicolai had always been grateful for that, in a way. He wasn't sure he would have even trusted himself if Demetri had been one of the Volturi members sent after him. "They always had Demetri track me from Italy, and just told Felix where to find me. Felix is an idiot, it was pretty easy to evade him." After Felix came back empty-handed five different times, they started sending Alec and Jane with him, who weren't as easy to run from. Nicolai didn't bother saying that out loud.

     "They'll probably send him after you now." Nicolai clenched his teeth when Stefan started talking, slowly turning on his heel to face him. "It's been years. He probably barely even remembers you." Nicolai looked at him for a moment, keeping his face completely smooth and impassive.

     "Just like you barely remember your dead mate, Stefan?" he asked innocently, tone light despite how heavy the words were. He knew it was low of him, but he had never liked the Romanians, and if Stefan was going to throw his lost mate into his face, he was going to do it right back. Stefan hissed low in his throat, taking a single step toward Nicolai. He met the threat with a single step of his own, arms falling to his sides. Eleazar slid in front of him, blocking his path, while Carlisle went to talk Stefan down.

     "Hey, no fighting people on our side," Eleazar said firmly, pushing Nicolai by his shoulders until he was standing beside Carmen again. Nicolai, with a scowl, opened his mouth to say something only semi-polite, when his face went blank. He stared into space for a few seconds, developing the look that usually told everyone around them that he was receiving a vision he hadn't been expecting. A moment later, he blinked once, twice, three times.

     With that impassive mask on his face again, he turned to face the opposite end of the field and said, "They're early."


	8. Been A While

     Nicolai was terrified.

     The second he saw the dark cloaks, he felt the familiar urge to flee. This was a bad idea. He should never have gotten involved. The second he had heard Carlisle mention the Volturi, he should have sent them away. Nicolai swallowed, eyes flying quickly over all of the bodies. All of the hoods were up, concealing all of their faces save for Caius, Marcus, and Aro's. A hand fell on his shoulder, making him suck in a sharp breath and look behind him. Eleazar gave him a concerned look, one he responded to with a nod. He was okay. Not great, but okay. Eleazar, with a small nod back, squeezed his shoulder once and dropped his hand. Nicolai's eyes went back to the Volturi.

     They had stopped, much like Nicolai had seen. The wolves had joined them. The guard started to drop their hoods back, like they usually did in preparation for a potential fight. Nicolai once again let his eyes scan the faces, throat tight, entire body tense. He saw Demetri before Demetri saw him. It made sense why, since Demetri wasn't expecting him to be there. His eyes were on Renesmee, the supposed immortal child they were supposed to destroy. Nicolai saw the slight twist in his features that showed his confusion.

     It was clear by the coat wrapped around her and the flush in her cheeks that Renesmee was not an immortal child.

     Nicolai saw him glance once at Aro before his face smoothed out and he continued to take in the faces. Nicolai just waited. When Demetri's eyes landed one him, at first they simply passed over him. A second later, Demetri's eyes were going right back to is face, cool demeanor finally breaking. Nicolai heard his sharp intake of breath, saw multiple Volturi members turn their heads to look at him. After a few more seconds, Demetri's entire face twisted.

     He looked absolutely horrified.

     Nicolai forced his eyes to the ground. He wasn't sure how long he could take looking at Demetri before he did something he would probably regret later. Dimly he could hear Aro and Carlisle speaking, but he didn't bother paying attention. He had already seen all of this, from Aro meeting Renesmee to Caius ordering the execution of Irina in an attempt to start a fight Nicolai's side couldn't win. He wasn't sure when he would leave — sometime after Aro addressed him — but he knew what would happen down to the smallest detail until then.

     Nicolai lost track of time. All he could focus on was the pair of eyes he could feel staring at him. He wanted so badly to do the same — who knew when he would see Demetri again — but he clenched his jaw and refused to. It would just make him vulnerable. He kept his mouth closed and his head down.

     "Caius, no!"

     It was only when those two words were shouted that Nicolai finally came out of his thoughts. He watched sadly as Caius raised his left hand. Immediately, guards fell on the small blonde vampire on their side — Irina. He heard the screeching sound that meant she was being torn apart, and then Caius was stepping forward and pointing that godforsaken lighter at her pile of body parts. Fire erupted from the end, and just like that, Irina was gone. Nicolai clenched his jaw. He waited a few more seconds before turning his head to look at Tanya and Kate.

     They both released high-pitched screams and shot forward.

     Kate was restrained first, by Garrett. She shocked him, but even though the pain brought him to his knees, he didn't let go of her. Tanya wasn't so easy to subdue. She slipped through both Carmen and Eleazar's fingers. Nicolai thought Carlisle would be able to keep his grasp on her, but something changed. Nicolai saw it a split second before it happened, so he was able to shoot forward and reach her right after Tanya flipped Carlisle onto his back. She only made it a few steps before his arms were wrapping around her small body, securing her arms at her sides. It wasn't the first time he had restrained furious vampires, so he dug his heels into the earth, locked his arms, and secured both of her wrists with his hands. She continued to jerk her body, but he was stronger than her, and he had practice doing this sort of thing.

     "If you attack them now, we will all die," he hissed in her ear, almost losing his grip on her when she gave one violent jerk that almost made him lose his footing. He grunted, squeezing hard. Her skin started to crack, and while she went slack and hissed in pain, he added, "Tanya, I've _seen_ it."

     It wasn't a lie. He had seen multiple outcomes to this confrontation, and one of them had been death for everyone just because no one had been able to stop Tanya and Kate. Of course, that had been _before_ Bella had mastered her mental shield, but Tanya didn't need to know that. She went slack in his arms, falling into his chest and releasing a sob through clenched teeth. Slowly, he led her back to her coven members. Carmen took Tanya from him, and Nicolai regained his position beside Eleazar.

     "Did you see any other outcomes to this?" Eleazar whispered. Nicolai shot him an amused glance.

     "I couldn't tell you even if I did," he reminded. Eleazar only sighed.

     Aro started talking then. Nicolai didn't need to listen to any of it. This basically him seeing everything for a second time, almost like a movie he found tediously boring. He just flashed through the visions he had been blocking out. It would snow even more tomorrow. He would have to ditch his cellphone at the end of the week, because he won't have enough time to charge it. He didn't have to think of exactly _why_ he wouldn't have enough time, because the answer was at the end of the field.

     Nicolai had completely tuned out Aro speaking to Amun — mainly because every single time either of them spoke, Nicolai wanted to punch _himself_ in the face, so both of them talking to each other was literal torture to him — but suddenly Amun and Kebi were running across the field and Aro was stopping in front of Nicolai. Nicolai steeled himself, schooling his face into an unreadable mask. Aro smiled at him, and Nicolai started feeling sick.

     "Nicolai," Aro breathed, looking as happy as he could possibly look. Nicolai, beyond uncomfortable, tried to stop the grimace that flashed across his face. "How lovely to see you. You look well." Before Nicolai could stop himself, his eyes went straight to Demetri. The Volturi member was absolutely _fuming_ , his jaw clenched. Felix was holding him back with one hand. Nicolai wondered why he was so angry, but then realized he didn't know whether Aro was planning to kill Nicolai or not.

     Nicolai had gotten so used to sharing his visions with Demetri that he wasn't used to Demetri _not_ knowing the future.

     "Thank you," Nicolai forced out, making himself look at Aro again. He still had that creepy smile on his face. He really wished he would stop looking at him like that.

     "I have to say," Aro continued in a fake casual tone, "that I am quite surprised to see you here today. You have kept to yourself for quite a few years now." _I've kept myself hidden from you for centuries, you mean_ , Nicolai thought bitterly, burying his hands into his jacket pockets. He knew why Aro had worded it that way, and it was because of the abundance of witnesses in the clearing, some of whom didn't know Nicolai's history with the Volturi.

     "Kept to myself?" he couldn't help saying with a scoff. "Yeah, that's one way to put it." A bit of ice crept into Aro's smile, but the smile itself didn't waver. Nicolai wished it would. He'd probably die afterward, but he was pretty sure he could beat Aro in a fight.

     "Why did you come to aid the Cullens?" Aro asked, getting straight to the point. He obviously knew Nicolai would probably let a few more passive-aggressive phrases leave his mouth if he continued socializing casually with him.

     "Alice helped me." Nicolai shrugged his shoulders. "I owed her. Besides, I will always speak in behalf of those who are innocent."

     "And are they?" Aro prompted. "Innocent of any crimes?"

     "Yes." He, in particular, didn't need to clarify why. His word as a former Volturi member was enough. Despite the fact that he knew the Volturi was corrupt, he personally agreed with the laws they had put in place. Immortal children were dangerous and were forbidden for a reason, and vampires should conceal their identities from humans. It was an easy concept to grasp. He just believed Aro wasn't the right person to be in charge. His wife, Sulpicia, could run things much more efficiently.

     "And what is your opinion of this unique little girl?" Aro asked, motioning gracefully toward Renesmee, who was still attached to Bella's hip. Nicolai thought over his words carefully, aware that he couldn't let his personal bias seep into his words.

     "She isn't dangerous," he said after a moment. "I've spent a lot of time with her. She would never hurt anyone and she understands right from wrong. There is no risk here." He paused for a moment, then decided to go for it, voice going as cold as ice. "I think you and I both know I wouldn't even be here if there was."

     Aro didn't respond for a very long moment.

     With a cold smile, Aro finally said, "Thank you, Nicolai. You know your judgment has always been special to me." Nicolai, recognizing the words, steeled himself again. "A home is always waiting for you in Volterra."

     Nicolai gave a cold smile right back.

     "I rather enjoy my nomadic lifestyle, but thank you so much for the offer, Aro."

     Aro's face smoothed out.

     "Of course." With a nod, he turned to walk toward Siobhan. Nicolai immediately turned to look at Edward and thought, _He's pissed, isn't he?_ Without a word, Edward nodded. _I should probably leave now, shouldn't I?_ Again, Edward nodded. Nicolai turned back toward Aro.

     "Aro?" Aro turned to face him once again. It seemed he knew what Nicolai was about to ask, which wasn't surprising. He had read Edward's thoughts earlier, and Edward had been roaming around inside Nicolai's head since he had arrived in Forks.

     "Yes?"

     "I gave my testimony and I would like to take my leave now. May I?" Nicolai knew he would have to say yes. He had already allowed Amun to leave, and allowing one person to leave but not allowing another would make him look bad.

     "Of course you may." Aro smiled again, slowly. "It was good to see you again, Nicolai, after such a long time. Hopefully, we will see you again soon."

     Nicolai heard the unspoken threat loud and clear, and he didn't even bother saying goodbye to any of his friends before he was running.


	9. On The Run

     The vision came to him while he was running.

     Usually he could feel a vision coming. A chill would creep down his spine, and his head would throb once, in preparation for the new information or in warning, Nicolai never knew. Sometimes those things never happened. Sometimes they would just flash across his mind without warning — someone would abruptly say his name, and he would see it, or someone decided to visit him at the last second — and Nicolai would have to focus on not running into a tree or crashing a car while it played out in front of him. He did just that now, just barely missing a tree, as he watched a scene flash before him. All he had to see was a bunch of dark cloaks for his stomach to drop.

     It seemed Aro had finally made a solid decision where he was concerned.

     He tried not to regret his involvement with the Cullens, but it was extremely difficult to shake the stray thought in the back of his mind saying, _They would have survived without your help_. Nicolai had known his presence wouldn't have been necessary, but he had also known his presence would have still helped. It had shaken the Volturi, particularly Aro. Still, he was now back on the Volturi's radar just because he felt he owed a girl he had never even met because she shared the same gift he did.

     He wished he had turned Carlisle and Esme away when they had approached him that night, and then he felt guilty just for thinking that.

     Nicolai, with a small shake of his head, focused back on the vision. He zeroed in on the faces. Marcus looked impassive, as usual. Caius, however, was positively raging, and relief swarmed through Nicolai. That meant the Cullens were still alive. He had been confident that they would, but it was still a relief to have those thoughts confirmed. Aro just looked thoughtful. Nicolai already knew what he was thinking about; it was clear by the fact that Nicolai could see them. They traveled in silence for a long moment, the wheels turning in Aro's head, before he finally started speaking.

_"Today was not a total waste."_ Marcus didn't react to his words, but Caius seemed about to explode. Nicolai was surprised steam wasn't coming out of his ears.

_"Today was_ catastrophic _, Aro,"_ Caius raged; if he were able to go red in the face, he would have. _"We made ourselves out to be utter fools."_ Aro waved a stray hand in the air, making it clear he didn't care much for the events of the day. He was plotting; he never cared about anything else when he was plotting.

_"If I cannot have Alice,"_ Aro said slowly, making Nicolai clench his jaw, _"then I shall set my sights on someone else. Someone who risked everything just to help his dear friends today."_ Slowly, Caius' expression smoothed out. He clicked his tongue.

_"Nicolai,"_ he murmured, looking pleased. Nicolai wanted to punch the smug smirk off of his face.

_"Yes."_ Aro thought for another moment before he looked behind him at one of the guards protecting the wives. _"Bring Felix, Heidi, and..."_ A cruel smile formed across his lips. _"...Demetri to me."_ The vision seemed to fast forward itself, to where Nicolai was once again the main topic. Aro sighed happily at the three Volturi members standing before him. The group seemed to have stopped as they waited for Aro to give his orders. Nicolai forced himself to watch despite the pain seeing Demetri caused him. _"Find him and bring him to me,"_ Aro ordered, his eyes flickering straight to Demetri. _"All three of you."_

     Nicolai skidded to a halt.

     For the first time in a very long time, Nicolai didn't know what to do, didn't know what action to take to guarantee him his best chance. With Demetri being sent after him for the very first time, he knew it was only a matter of time before they caught him. It was inevitable, and for the first time since he left the Volturi, he felt so, _so_ tired. Tired of running. Tired of making an enemy of the Volturi.

     Tired of loving Demetri.

     Still standing in that one spot, Nicolai fished out his cellphone and started calling the first person he thought of. Logically he knew that he needed to keep moving. The farther he got, the more time it took for them to catch up. The dial rang for a few moments. Nicolai was about to hang up and try again when the other person finally answered. Nicolai forced fake excitement into his voice.

     "Eddy!" He greeted, kicking at the snow beneath his feet. "No other casualties after Irina, I hope?" There was a beat of silence. Nicolai could hear chatter on the other end, heard Edward tell someone — presumably Bella — that Nicolai was on the other end of the line.

     "No, thankfully," Edward said, sounding relieved. Nicolai nodded.

     "Good. I'm glad." At least he could be honest with himself about that. He wished he had been able to do something about Irina, but he had known as soon as he had seen it that it was unavoidable. Someone was going to die that day, and he would rather it have been Irina than the entire Cullen family. Licking his lips, he continued. "Hey, listen...I don't think you're going to hear from me for a while." Again, he was greeted with silence. Nicolai was really starting to get annoyed with that. A scowl twisted his features. "Edward? I don't really have a lot of time here. If you could respond to me, that would be _great_."

     He didn't want to be snippy, but _honestly_.

     "Right, sorry." Edward sounded a bit sad now, releasing a small sigh. "Maybe Bella can shield you?"

     "No. She can't protect my mind from his tracking twenty-four-seven; besides, I don't want to involve your family in this. This is my problem, not yours."

     "You helped us," Edward reminded. Nicolai bit his bottom lip.

     "Yes, well, don't forget it." He attempted to smile, with no such luck. "I'll probably call on that favor soon." Edward forced out a laugh Nicolai could tell he didn't truly mean.

     "Stay safe, Nicolai," he murmured. Nicolai genuinely smiled this time, only it held nothing but sadness in it.

     "You too, Edward."

~ ~ ~ ~

     The vision hit him much like the first one had. He wasn't prepared, and he actually stumbled once he saw who he was seeing in the vision. As soon as he saw his face, he skidded to a halt and closed his eyes, hissing through clenched teeth. _Push it back_ , he told himself. _Push it back, push it back, push it back_.

     He wasn't strong enough to push it back.

     Three cloaked figures stood in the snow. The woman, Heidi, was standing patiently in the snow, back straight, hands clasped behind her back. Despite the calm demeanor, Nicolai knew her. He knew what the small movements on her face meant, and judging by the way she kept shifting her gaze, she was worried. About who, he wasn't sure. Felix was pacing back and forth, wearing a path into the snow. He was the exact opposite of Heidi. Where she was collected, he was frazzled. Where she was calm, he was impatient. It had always been like that, with the two of them.

     There, leaning against a tree with his arms folded across his chest, was Demetri. His eyes were closed, his head bowed as he concentrated. Nicolai wasn't sure how far into the future this was. He could be seeing it a second before they did anything; he could be seeing it as it played out at that very moment. Sometimes his gift showed him the present, probably not realizing it was the present at all.

     Felix, with a low growl, twisted around and started walking toward Demetri.

_"What's taking so long?"_ he demanded. Demetri raised his head, blinking out of a haze. Once he regained his bearings, he gave Felix a bored look.

_"If you would stop interrupting me every few seconds,"_ he drawled, _"we would already be on our way."_ Felix scowled.

_"It usually doesn't take you this long, Demetri,"_ he argued, giving him a once-over. _"You're being slower than usual."_ Demeti, once again, gave him a bored look, clearly unimpressed.

_"I just want to be thorough,"_ was all he said, though this time there was a tension in his voice. He didn't sound so bored anymore. Nicolai knew him, too, better than anyone really. Demetri didn't like this; he didn't want to be there, in the snow, tracking Nicolai down like he was an animal. He didn't want any of it.

     Felix scoffed. _"Or you're stalling."_ Demetri cocked his head to the side, considering his words.

_"Why would I stall?"_

_"So when we finally do start chasing after him, he's far enough away that he can evade us in time."_ There was a beat of silence. Demetri stared at him for a long time.

_"Don't be ridiculous,"_ he said at last, voice smooth, practiced. _"I'm not doing that."_ Nicolai felt himself smile as he watched.

     Demetri was lying.

_"Oh, really? You're not helping him? Because you're_ so _over him? That's why you looked horrified back on that field when you saw him, right?"_ Demetri didn't respond, only giving him a bored stare. Felix scoffed again. _"Demetri, you can't even say his name."_

     Demetri's jaw clenched.

_"I can,"_ he said through his teeth, _"I just don't need to."_ Felix crossed his arms over his chest.

_"Then say his name now,"_ he challenged. Demetri opened his mouth to do just that, but something stopped him. It was like someone was constricting his throat, physically keeping him from saying Nicolai's name. Nicolai's own heart lurched inside of his chest at the sight. Felix sighed. _"That's what I thought."_

_"That's enough,"_ Heidi said sharply, finally stepping into the confrontation. Nicolai was grateful for it. For her. _"Leave him be, Felix."_ Demetri nodded at her once Felix took a few steps back and turned to pace again. After a few short seconds, Felix was talking again. Heidi shot him an irritated look while Demetri just closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the tree.

_"I'm just worried,"_ Felix said. _"Master Aro gave us a job to do. With you — "_ He waved at Demetri. _" — with us this time around, failing is_ not _an option."_ That seemed to make Heidi and Demetri realize just what kind of mission they were on. Felix was right. Coming home without Nicolai with them was not an option. It would mean more than just disappointing Aro. It could mean that they could suddenly become expendable. Felix and Heidi were probably two of the most expendable members in the Volturi, and there were plenty more trackers to replace Demetri. None quite as good as he was, granted, but enough to take over his job and do what needed to be done. Felix said the words when it was made clear Heidi and Demetri weren't going to. _"We need to get Nicolai this time, or we're going to die when we get back to Volterra."_

_"Shut up, Felix,"_ Demetri said through gritted teeth.

_"I'm just telling the_ truth _."_ Felix scowled. _"I'm afraid you're going to let your personal feelings interfere with your job."_

_"That won't happen,"_ Demetri argued. He sounded more and more annoyed as the conversation wore on, his usual calm demeanor cracking.

_"I don't want to die, Demetri,"_ Felix muttered. There was a beat of silence.

_"You won't."_

     Nicolai, coming out of the vision, pulled the hood of his jacket up to cover his face, and ran.


	10. Cornered

_The surface of the lake glittered, the reflection of the sun something Nicolai couldn't seem to look away from. It was like the water held stars. He was so mesmerized by it that he didn't notice Demetri moving until there was a loud splash. Water descended on Nicolai, making him release a startled shriek. A moment later, he was pressing his face to his knees, overcome with embarrassed laughter. Demetri, who had swam to the center of the lake, finally popped his head back above the water, smiling wide when he noticed Nicolai laughing._

_"That was rude," Nicolai teased, pausing when he noticed Demetri's bare shoulders. A single glance around him showed that Demetri had abandoned his clothes. He couldn't believe he hadn't noticed his own mate getting naked. No wonder Demetri splashed him. "What do you think you're doing? Anyone could see you."_

_"Us," Demetri corrected, briefly swimming backward. "Come join me, Nicci. You love swimming." Nicolai scoffed._

_"Oddly enough, I don't think you plan on swimming if I join you." Demetri only hummed, letting his eyes fall shut and letting himself float on the surface of the water. The sun made his skin glitter. Nicolai, unable to lose his smile, became mesmerized by Demetri instead of the water this time. He rested his cheek on his knee. "I love you."_

_Demetri swam to the edge of the lake, where Nicolai was sitting. He motioned for Nicolai to bend down, planting a small, sweet kiss on his lips after he did. Nicolai mopped up the drops of water with his tongue after Demetri pulled away. "I love you," Demetri repeated, tangling their fingers together._

_Nicolai should have known their nice moment was going to be ruined, simply because Demetri couldn't help himself. The smirk he gave against Nicolai's lips was the only warning he gave before Demetri pulled him into the lake. Nicolai went in headfirst, resurfacing a few seconds later just to hear Demetri's laughter ringing out around them. Sputtering, Nicolai splashed water at Demetri, swimming over and pushing him down into the water by his shoulders. Demetri's laughter was cut off when his head went under water. A moment later, Nicolai was under water as well, and when he realized Demetri wasn't going to go down without taking Nicolai with him, he let go of his shoulders._

_When they resurfaced, Demetri's arms were around his waist, and Nicolai could feel the bottom of the lake. Smiling, Nicolai pressed a kiss to the corner of Demetri's mouth, pulling away when he felt Demetri's hands start to wander. "No," he murmured. "Not here." Demetri's wandering hands stilled immediately, eventually coming to rest innocently on Demetri's waist. Nicolai paused to kiss him on the corner of the mouth again before he pulled away and swam toward the closest bank, pulling himself out of the water. While he yanked off his shirt to ring it out, he heard Demetri slide out of the water as well._

_"Humans could come upon us at any time, you know," Nicolai drawled as he sat back on the grass, stretching his shirt out beside him. He was much more modest than Demetri was, so the thought of taking his pants off to dry as well didn't occur to him. He ran his hand through his wet hair, disheveling it. When Demetri was finished getting dressed, he flopped down beside Nicolai and rested his head on Nicolai's stomach._

_"Let them," Demetri said, eyes fluttering shut when he felt Nicolai's fingers trail through his hair. "I could use a snack." A bright laugh burst from Nicolai's mouth._

_"And what if it is a vampire that comes upon us?" he asked, staring up at the sky. Demetri let out a small laugh._

_"Let them," he repeated. "This is our territory. If they approach us, they are either insane or they are simply friendly." Nicolai's lips twitched. He sat up, making Demetri's head slide from his stomach to his lap. He cupped his cheek and leaned down, kissing him softly on the lips. They usually weren't this physically affectionate at home, mainly because Amun found it rude and distasteful, and neither of them made a habit of making him angry. Now, however, they were out in the open and alone, free to touch each other however they liked._

_"How sweet."_

_Just like that, their peaceful moment was shattered. Both of them were on their feet in seconds, Nicolai grabbing his damp shirt on the way up and quickly putting it on. Demetri, ever the protective one, took a step in front of Nicolai and let out a warning growl. Nicolai observed the newcomers — a man, with four people behind him, all wearing dark cloaks — and after coming to the conclusion that they meant no harm, he touched Demetri gently on the arm. The newcomers hadn't attacked them, even though Demetri's harsh reaction would have usually prompted any other vampires to do so. Besides, they were outnumbered, and Nicolai would rather this be a civil confrontation than a violent one._

_"My apologies. I did not mean to startle you," the man in the middle — the leader — said with a kind smile. Demetri slowly straightened out of his defensive crouch, though he remained in front of Nicolai. Even when Nicolai reached for his hand to calm him, his arm remained slightly in front of Nicolai's body as they held hands, fully prepared to jump in front of him again._

_"Forgive him," Nicolai said, offering a smile. "He is protective, and you are strangers." The leader waved a hand in the air, like it was no problem._

_"Perfectly understandable." He smiled again. Something about the smile unnerved Nicolai, but he brushed it off as the usual paranoia he got around other vampires. "Allow me to introduce us. My name is Aro, and the ones accompanying me is Jane, Alec, Afton, and my dear Chelsea." Jane and Alec were small, no more than children. Afton was a grown man, and he stayed by Chelsea's side, as close to her as Demetri was to Nicolai._

_"I'm Nicolai," he said, keeping his voice friendly and inviting. "This is Demetri."_

_"What business do you have here?" Demetri asked, getting straight to the point. Nicolai nudged him gently in the side, but Demetri's guarded expression didn't change. The man took them both in for a moment before he spoke._

_"Amun and his mate, Kebi," he explained. "I came here to..." Abruptly, Nicolai stiffened, a vision so abrupt flashing before his eyes that he grasped at Demetri's arm. He saw Aro and his companions interrogating Amun, and then turning around to interrogate Demetri and Nicolai. He saw the little one, Jane, use her gift on him, and promptly saw Demetri launch himself at her. He had died quickly after that, and Nicolai came out of the vision shaking uncontrollably. Demetri was cupping his cheek, saying his name over and over to gain his attention. Aro was staring at him thoughtfully._

_"Are you alright?" he asked politely, though Nicolai could tell he wasn't truly concerned. He swallowed thickly._

_"Yes, I..." He shook his head, brushing Demetri's hands away. "I saw that one torturing me." His eyes went to Jane, who quirked an eyebrow but otherwise stayed impassive. His eyes met Aro's. "I saw you killing us." Demetri let out a low hiss, turning toward the five of them. Nicolai locked his hand around Demetri's wrist so tightly that he'd have to rip off his own hand off to get out of it._

_"You saw?" Aro inquired, sudden interest brightening his face. "In the future?" When Nicolai nodded, he turned toward Demetri. "Can you do anything?" Demetri, puzzled, proceeded to explain his tracking ability. As soon as he was done, Nicolai saw what Aro was going to do next. He was going to ask the two of them if they wanted to join his coven, the Volturi. Nicolai was speaking before he had a chance to properly ask the question._

_"You want us to leave our home for you?" he asked, bewildered and even a bit offended. Who did this man think he was, going wherever he liked and just expecting things to be handed to him?_

_"But this isn't your home, is it?" The woman, Chelsea, who had been so silent until now, stepped forward with an easy smile. Demetri growled a warning at her, but she ignored it. Her eyes were trained on Nicolai. Something washed over Nicolai then, a detachment that he knew in his heart wasn't genuine, but he couldn't seem to fight off. "You hold no love for Amun, no love for Kebi, no love for this land. Isn't that right?" Nicolai's mouth parted._

_"Yes," he breathed. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Demetri look at him sharply. Chelsea smiled, slow and cold._

_"This is not your home," Chelsea continued, looking at Demetri now. "_ He _is your home." It was the truth, and Nicolai had no desire to fight her words. "And you would follow him anywhere, wouldn't you?" she asked, talking to Demetri now, who could do nothing but nod. "The Volturi could be your new home, as long as you are there together. Nothing has to change. You can stay there together, for eternity, by each other's side. You can love each other freely there, without judgement. You will never have to live under Amun's tyranny again. Aro is so much kinder. Come with us."_

_Nicolai and Demetri hadn't stood a chance._

♦ ♦ ♦ ♦

     Nicolai had almost made it to the ocean when he realized he was _so_ unbelievably tired. He was tired of seeing whenever Demetri noticed his change in course and promptly changed the course himself. He was tired of living a nomadic lifestyle, only connecting with people for a short period of time before he had to run away again. He was tired of constantly having to look after his shoulder. He was tired of being wary of every single vampire he came across, never knowing if they would recognize him as an enemy or as a way to get into Aro's good graces. He was tired of being seen as nothing more than a gift someone could exploit.

     He was tired of a lot of things, but mostly he was so, so, _so_ tired of running.

     A few miles away from the ocean, he changed the direction and headed for the cliffs instead. He wasn't sure where he was exactly, if he was even still in America or not, but he supposed that didn't really matter. It never mattered. What mattered was getting ahead of them.

     He had no chance of getting ahead of them now, though. He had no chance of losing them in elaborate schemes and complicated routes this time, simply because Demetri was with them. Not only was his gift a threat, but his mere presence was a weakness that Aro was exploiting. If, in the end, Aro didn't get his hands on Nicolai, at least he had caused Nicolai a significant amount of pain while trying.

     Even when Aro didn't win, he still ended up winning.

     Nicolai saw a cave and immediately went into it.

     He wasn't surprised when he came across a dead end. Caves usually had them. He supposed, being a vampire, that he could have easily dug himself out through the rock, but that hadn't been why he went this way. He went into the cave precisely _because_ it had a dead end. Because it had something he could put his back to.

     He sat down on a boulder, got out his phone, and waited.

     He was playing Candy Crush with one hand and a bored expression when the trio finally caught up to him a few hours later. He heard Felix hiss that it could be a trap ( _"Why would he just stop and wait for us all of a sudden?"_ ), heard Heidi disagree ( _"Nic isn't that kind of person, Felix."_ ), and finally heard Demetri say, quite sadly, that he agreed with Heidi ( _"This isn't a trap."_ ).

     "About time," he sighed when they finally came into view, waiting until he had finished the current game of Candy Crush he was playing before he looked up at them and gave a very cold smile. "Let's get this over with, shall we?"


	11. Reunion

~ ~ ~ ~

      _Nicolai was running._

_He wasn't the fastest runner, and he was vividly reminded of that fact when he heard another vampire gain on him. He willed his legs to go faster. Always faster. He swung from tree branches, jumped over fallen trees and wide rivers, all in a desperate attempt to lose the person following him. None of it worked. He was halfway over another river, this one frozen over, when the other person finally reached him and hit him in the side. The ice on top of the river was so thick that it didn't even crack when the two bodies hit it._

_The other vampire was on top of him. Nicolai was suddenly glad that vampire bodies were practically indestructible. Hitting the ice hadn't even hurt, and the air that flew from his lungs was air he didn't even need. All he had to truly worry about was the vampire on top of him, whose mouth was dangerously close to his throat. One bite and it would be over._

_Instead of teeth, he felt the ghost of soft lips against his neck._

_"Got you," Demetri purred, pushing his face deeper into Nicolai's neck. Nicolai scowled, shoving at his mate's shoulder. Demetri got the hint, rolling off of him, a small chuckle he was trying desperately to bite back slipping out of his mouth. They both sat up, and Nicolai shot him a dirty look. Demetri only offered a small shrug in response._

_"This is hopeless," Nicolai muttered, bringing his knees up to his chest. Demetri sighed, sliding closer, his thumb going to the corner of Nicolai's pouting mouth. "How am I supposed to outrun a_ tracker _? What's the point?" Demetri shrugged._

_"The point is that, if anyone comes for you wanting to use your visions as a weapon, you'll be able to get away from them," Demetri said, leaning forward to kiss Nicolai's pout away. When Nicolai turned his head before he could, Demetri sighed and leaned back, getting the hint. Nicolai wasn't in the mood for affectionate kisses, so Demetri wasn't going to give them. This wasn't the type of mood he could fix with those kisses, anyway._

_"I'm not fast enough," Nicolai grumbled bitterly, setting his chin on top of his knees. Demetri's hand smoothed down his back, over the pitch-black cloak he was wearing. It was the same shade as Chelsea's, signifying he was one of the most prized members of the Volturi guard. Demetri's was a lighter shade, but still darker than any of the others._

_"It's not about speed," Demetri said after a moment of thought. When Nicolai turned to give him a questioning look, he smiled and reached up to tap his finger gently against Nicolai's temple. "Use your gift, Nicci. As soon as a tracker decides to track you, you'll be able to see it and change course — and keep changing your course until you either get ahead, or they lose your trail." Nicolai frowned._

_"That won't work on_ your _gift, though," he pointed out. "You track minds, not scent." At that, Demetri scoffed._

_"And do you think I would_ hunt _you, Nicci?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. Nicolai opened his mouth, and then sighed and closed it, his shoulders slumping. After he shook his head, Demetri leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to his temple. Nicolai grumbled under his breath, but didn't turn his head or push him away. The kiss had comforted him, even though in his foul mood he would never admit it. "It will work with regular vampires, and even other trackers, as long as they aren't better than me."_

_"But no one is better than you," Nicolai pointed out. Demetri flashed him a grin, all sharp teeth and joyful arrogance. It made Nicolai have to fight back a fond smile._

_"Exactly," Demetri said, kissing Nicolai's cheek this time. He could feel Demetri smile against his skin. "The only person in this entire world who could possibly catch you is me, and I will never hunt you."_

_"You_ could _hunt me, one day," Nicolai argued, pulling away from him. "As some sort of game we're playing that I'm winning. We both know how much you loathe to lose."_

_"Okay, fine," Demetri conceded. "I_ could _some day hunt you — but only as a game. Nothing more serious than a playful game."_

_Nicolai snorted and buried his face into Demetri's shoulder._

~ ~ ~ ~

     It wasn't an innocent, playful game. It had never been an innocent, playful game. Nicolai supposed he was the one to blame for that. If he hadn't of ran without telling anyone — aside from saying goodbye to Demetri — then Demetri never would have been forced to track Nicolai in the first place. Because of course it was forced. Demetri didn't have a choice, even though he thought he did. He was bound to Aro because of Chelsea, unable to leave even if he wanted to — which he _had_ wanted to, Nicolai remembered. He had wanted to go with Nicolai _so badly_ , breaking past Chelsea's gift for a split second, only he had been physically unable to. Part of Nicolai wished that Chelsea had bound him to Aro as well, instead of relying on his love for Demetri to keep him in Volterra. Another part of him was grateful that she hadn't.

     Now, the three Volturi vampires currently staring at Nicolai with wide eyes were frozen. Felix's mouth was hanging open, and Heidi looked like she wanted to hug Nicolai and throttle him at the same time.

     He hadn't found the strength to look at Demetri yet.

     "Honestly, I'm kind of offended that _silence_ is all I'm greeted with," Nicolai said at last, choosing humor over everything else inside of him he wanted to express. Anger at not just being left alone. Sadness that they seemed like strangers to him now. Happiness, even, because Felix and Heidi and _Demetri_ were in front of him, and it wasn't a dream or a memory. His family was _right there_ , in touching distance, and they were utterly frozen and silent and _still staring at him_. "Like, you're not even going to say _hi_ before you do whatever you're going to do? I haven't seen any of you in, what, 190 years, and all I get is _silence_?"

     There was a beat of silence.

     "Hi," Felix said flatly. Nicolai shot him a look.

     "Well, now I don't think you mean it," he said, forcing himself to pout. He felt like he was on the edge of a cliff, and he wanted to jump off so badly, but he stayed put. Stayed calm. Stayed amused, even if it was mostly fake. One wrong move, and this delicate moment of peace between them would be shattered, and one of them — probably Felix — would attack.

     And Nicolai didn't want to kill Felix, he _really_ didn't. Because he would win this fight, even if it was three to one. He may not have been the fastest, but out of all four of them, he was the most deadly on the battlefield, even without his visions. It was a natural talent he had; he saw fighting as a hobby. And, really, it was two against one, because everyone in that cave knew that when it came down to it, Demetri and Nicolai wouldn't lay a hand on each other. If it came to a fight, Felix and Heidi would be on their own, and Nicolai didn't think he'd be able to stop himself from tearing them apart even if he wanted to.

     Part of him wanted a fight. Another part wanted to keep running. Another, deeper part, just wanted to fly to Demetri and never let him go again. That was the easiest part for him to ignore.

     "I missed you," Heidi whispered, breaking the silence again. Nicolai looked at her, taking in her wide eyes and her small, if awkward, smile. "And I mean it." Nicolai felt himself smile.

     "I know you mean it," he whispered. "I missed you, too." Her smile widened, if only slightly.

     "Then come back to Volterra," Felix said, scowling at him while he crossed his arms over his chest. Nicolai cocked his head to the side, studying him.

     "No," he said, keeping his tone light. Casual. He wouldn't be the one to make this confrontation antagonistic. He refused. He would keep it civil, and he would stay civil and friendly until one of them — probably Felix — forced his hand.

     He didn't like hurting people. But he would if they made him. He wouldn't hesitate, and they knew that.

     "What do you mean, _no_?" Felix asked, sounding exasperated. He would be. He was as tired of hunting Nicolai as Nicolai was of being hunted.

     "I mean _no_ ," Nicolai said, finally letting a bit of anger seep into his voice. "Do I have to spell it out for you? I'm _not going back_ , and you can't force me to." At that, Felix raised his eyebrows. Nicolai stared at him in disbelief. He wondered how one could be so stupid as to think he could actually beat him in a fight. Edward couldn't even beat him, and he could read his mind. He could only come to the conclusion that being in the Volturi had gone straight to Felix's head. He truly believed he was capable of overpowering Nicolai. Nicolai would have laughed, if the situation was even mildly funny.

     "Do you really want to test me, Felix?" he asked, tone going ice cold, deadly. So much for him refusing to make the confrontation antagonistic. Felix towered over him, but still, his voice going from light and friendly to cold and holding all kinds of warnings made him pause. Made him remember. "I was on Chelsea's level, and it wasn't just because of my visions. I've killed vampires stronger than you in a matter of _seconds_. Do you honestly believe some _second-rate_ Volturi guard like _you_ would be able to beat me?"

     It was cruel to say. Everything about it was cruel, from the words to the threat to the way his voice sounded. The Volturi _did_ something to the vampires it recruited, brought out the cruelty that was inside all of them, no matter how deep. The sweetest person could turn into the coldest inside the walls of Volterra. It was part of the reason why he left. He hated this part of him. He hated being like this. He didn't want to be cruel. He didn't enjoy it like so many others did. And if he became this cruel just by being near people he loved and considered family, he shuddered to think of how he'd be if he ever donned a Volturi cloak again.

     "We can't go back unless we have you, Nicolai," Felix snapped. He didn't take a step toward him though, sensing that that would be a _very_ bad idea on his part. 

     "So, what? Are all of you going to physically force me back to Volterra? Is that what this is?" His eyes went straight to Demetri, red eyes meeting red. It was the first time since they entered the cave that Nicolai had even looked at him. Nicolai's jaw tightened. "Are you really about to make me do something I don't want to do, Demi?" The nickname just slipped out, and everyone in the cave stopped breathing as they waited for Demetri to respond.

     It was a simple question, almost childish to a Volturi member's ears, but Demetri heard the double meaning loud and clear. His reaction was subtle, barely there, but Nicolai _knew_ him, better than anyone he had ever known. The tightening little twitch of his jaw, the way his eyes shifted briefly to the right as if avoiding Nicolai's gaze, before eventually shifting back, the way his shoulders subtly tensed beneath that _disgusting_ cloak. Nicolai wanted to rip it off of him, to burn it. All of it meant that Demetri was uncomfortable, that he was unhappy, and that he knew Nicolai was right. His body language practically screamed:  _I've already lost this fight_. The only thing missing was the apologetic pout he always gave.

     Demetri knew Nicolai would never forgive him if he laid a forceful hand on him.

     And Nicolai knew that if Demetri allowed Felix or Heidi to lay a forceful hand on him, Demetri would never forgive himself.

     It only took Felix taking a single step toward Nicolai for Demetri to make a decision.

     "No."

     Felix paused. He sent Demetri a startled look, while Heidi just stared at Nicolai with a frown. Her eyes were oddly soft. She knew what Nicolai was doing. She knew what Demetri was about to do. It didn't look like she planned on getting in the middle of this mess anytime soon.

     "Demetri, we have our orders — "

     "I said _no_." Demetri's voice was shaking, the amount of venom in it startling even Nicolai. He had expected a reaction, but not one quite this strong. It made him feel a bit guilty for manipulating this situation in his favor. He knew Demetri would react this way; he knew Demetri wouldn't force him to go back. It was why he brought him in the conversation in the first place.

     "He's not your mate anymore," Felix snapped. Demetri's eyes flared; a snarl ripped up his throat, so full of anger and protectiveness that despite everything inside of him telling him not to react, a small smile formed on Nicolai's lips.

     "He's still _mine_." Nicolai opened his mouth to say that he didn't belong to anyone, but then he paused. He'd say it, but it wouldn't be the truth. Everyone knew that. He was Demetri's, and Demetri was his, and even if they weren't together anymore, that wouldn't change.

     "What do we do then?" Heidi whispered. Demetri ran a hand through his hair and scowled, glancing away.

     "You could _not_ go back," Nicolai said with a shrug. Demetri glanced at him. "Just a suggestion."

     "Or I could convince you to come back with us," Demetri shot right back, shrugging when Nicolai glared at him. Both of them had regained their composure quickly. "Just a suggestion."

     "You won't be able to convince me to go back, _Demi_." He said the nickname out of spite now, pure anger. Demetri flinched. A moment later, the pain on his face was gone, and now he was just as angry as Nicolai was.

     "And you won't be able to convince me to stay, _Nicci_."

      _Wow_ , that hurt. Nicolai hadn't realized how much it hurt. He owed Demetri an apology.

     "Then I guess we're at a stalemate, then," he muttered.

     "I guess so."

     Nicolai didn't have enough energy to glare anymore, so he just looked at the floor of the cave and didn't say another word.


	12. Compromise

_Nicolai was running. Again._

___This time, it wasn't a training exercise. This time, he was trying to run away from what had just happened in that Volterra castle. He could still see the coven leader's look of utter betrayal when her son — her legitimate, biological_ son _whom she had turned when he reached adulthood — had joined the Volturi without hesitation, even though he had vehemently denied joining their group not five minutes beforehand. It had happened before, and Nicolai vividly remembered Aro asking him and Demetri to join them, and remembered feeling anger at his bold question. Neither had wanted to join, he remembered that as clear as day. Yet both of them had felt an abrupt sense of loyalty toward Aro a few minutes afterward._

___Chelsea had been there, and he knew her gift by now. She was able to manipulate emotional ties between people, including families, though she claimed she couldn't break true love. Nicolai couldn't believe he hadn't connected the dots sooner. He couldn't believe no one else had. Then again, his loyalty toward Aro had waned over the years. As if Chelsea didn't see a reason why she should keep him tied to Aro when he was already so strongly tied to Demetri. She thought it was enough to keep him there after he figured it out._

___She was wrong._

~ ~ ~ ~

     Felix was the first one to speak, and all he said was an exasperated, "Jesus Christ." Nicolai could understand his impatience. He himself was starting to get hungry, he could feel the start of a faint burn at the back of his throat. Harsh winter wind kept blowing into the cave, ruffling their clothes so much that it was starting to become annoying. A blizzard was on its way toward them. None of them wanted to be inside that cave when it arrived.

     "Shut up, Felix," Demetri said, sounding annoyed. Felix threw his arms up in exasperation before huffing and walking toward the entrance of the cave, looking out at the snow falling to the ground. Heidi was leaning against the cave wall, eyes lowered to the ground. Demetri and Nicolai had long since stopped looking at each other. The tension was uncomfortable, and none of them knew what to do now that Demetri had decided forcing Nicolai wasn't an option.

     "Can we hurry this along?" Nicolai said at last, scrunching up his nose when another blast of ice cold air flew into the cave. "I'd like to hunt before the humans all get inside. Or freeze to death."

     "We can't go back without you, Nic," Heidi whispered, breaking her ongoing silence. He glanced at her, and his face softened.

     "I know," he told her. "I saw you talking about it, and I'm sorry. But I'm not going with you." Heidi only nodded, like she had expected that answer. He shouldn't have felt guilty, but he did. None of them deserved to die just because he didn't want to go back. "Look, just...travel with me instead?" Heidi, Felix, and Demetri all looked at him at the same time, demanding an explanation. He sucked in a deep breath. "Demetri said that he could try and convince me to go back, and I said I could try convincing him to stay. How about we just...travel, and we do that?" When they looked doubtful, he let out a small sigh. "Do you honestly want to stay in this cave? Besides, I'm hungry, so..." He motioned toward the mouth of the cave. Felix and Heidi both looked at Demetri, who pursed his lips before relenting with a soft sigh and a nod.

     Nicolai grinned and started running.

~ ~ ~ ~

     They found a camping spot not far off. Nicolai briefly wondered why humans seemed to be so stupid. The blizzard hadn't reached them yet, but still, what kind of people would go camping when it was snowing? It seemed absurd. Nicolai could remember the cold, if only faintly, and he couldn't understand why they would willingly subject themselves to it.

     There were four men, all in the same tent for warmth. Heidi sighed before she slipped out of her cloak and handed it to Nicolai. It practically burned his fingers, so he turned and shoved it into Felix's chest. He didn't want to touch it. Felix grunted, shooting Nicolai an annoyed look, but Nicolai just smiled at him before turning to watch Heidi do her magic. Her gift was subtle, but it worked wonders. Straight men were always the weakest to her charms, following her around like lost puppies within seconds. She was wearing a low-cut sweater and tight jeans now, though she was wearing hiker boots instead of her usual heels.

     Her red lips parted, and then she started screaming.

     "Help!" she cried, taking her role as a distressed, freezing victim a little too seriously. Nicolai placed a hand over his mouth, but he couldn't stop his laughter from escaping. He hadn't realized how much he had missed her until that exact moment. Heidi stopped in her screaming only long enough to hiss at Nicolai — _"Don't make me laugh!"_ — before she was screaming again. "Help! Somebody help me, _please_!"

     A head stuck out of the tent the four men were sharing. As soon as Heidi saw him, she made a show of stumbling in the snow before falling. Nicolai laughed again.

     "What a drama queen," he muttered. Demetri let out a small huff of amusement, and Nicolai felt his heart jump into his throat at the sound. His breath hitched. He was sure both of them had been more than aware of what had just happened, however small, but Demetri didn't acknowledge it, and neither did Nicolai. Felix, however, was more than willing to bring it up for them.

     "You two are a mess," he muttered. Both Nicolai and Demetri shot him dark looks that he just ignored. "Pay attention to Heidi. She's giving one of her best performances." Nicolai arched an eyebrow when he noticed a bit of fondness in Felix's voice. He glanced at Demetri before he could stop himself, wanting to ask when in the world _that_ had happened, but then thought better of it. Knowing Demetri, he would reply with something along the lines of ' _when you were gone_ ' and Nicolai honestly didn't need that kind of negativity when he was so hungry.

     "What are you doing out here?" the man asked Heidi, making Nicolai focus on her little performance again. She was still in the snow, and he had gotten a thermal blanket to throw over her. The other three men were peering out at her in obvious astonishment. "And with no jacket? You'll freeze to death."

     "Funny that you talk about Death," Heidi drawled, no longer sounding scared. She finally allowed her eyes to look directly into the man's, and when he noticed how red they were, he sucked in a sharp breath. "That's who you're going to meet soon." 

     "You're so dramatic, Heidi, honestly," Nicolai said, making his presence known as he strolled forward. The man stumbled away from Heidi, though he tripped and sprawled out in the snow. The other three men, not having heard what Heidi had said to him, were still watching in curiosity. "Why don't you just act normal when you're drawing food in?"

     "Because you're _so_ normal, right?" was her only retort as she stood from the snow, brushing the white flakes off of her clothes. Nicolai made a face at her, which she grinned at.

     "What I _am_ is hungry," was all he could come up with as a response, because she was right.

     "Well, no one's stopping you." Licking her lips, Heidi turned and smiled at the three men in the tent. Her voice was nothing but a seductive purr when she spoke to them. "Don't you wanna come say hi, boys?" The men stumbled over themselves trying to get to her. Nicolai often thought of Heidi as being a siren from Greek mythology, beautiful yet deadly creatures who lured men to their deaths with just their voices. She fit the description so perfectly that he wondered if the myth was created just for her.

     Nicolai, shaking his head, turned and retrieved the man who was still sprawled in the snow. He was frozen, unsure of what they were but sensing he should be afraid regardless. Nicolai had thought he would feel guilty taking a life after so much time with the Cullens and drinking blood Carlisle had brought back from the hospital, but looking at the man now, he felt absolutely nothing. No wonder he hadn't lasted very long when he attempted to go with animal blood. He didn't have the compassion for human life like Carlisle and his family did.

     Grasping at the man's jaw and planting a hand on his shoulder to keep him from moving, he leaned in and sniffed at his neck. Venom immediately started filling his mouth at the sweet scent of the man's blood. His lips peeled back from his teeth, and the sound of the man's thundering heartbeat was suddenly all he could hear. He only paused long enough to get the man in the right position before he struck.

     He probably should have planted his hand over the man's mouth, because his scream was loud, especially to Nicolai's enhanced ears. It didn't really matter. He was dead a few seconds later, and Nicolai let the nameless man collapse on the ground. The snow would cover his body for now, and by the time rangers or hikers found his body, it'd be so bloated and decayed that they would just assume the cause of death was the weather.

     Turning away, he wiped the back of his hand across his mouth, wiping the blood away. Demetri was already done with his meal, while Felix and Heidi were taking their time with the last two. They always were the messiest eaters. As they snarled and laughed over one of the humans, Nicolai watched Demetri slowly walk toward him. For a moment, neither knew what to say.

     And then Demetri smiled, and the awkward tension that had previously surrounded them until then had vanished. It wasn't his usual arrogant smile. This one was genuine. Nicolai had always been able to tell the difference.

     "You have..." Still smiling, Demetri trailed off and lifted his finger to his lips, tapping at the corner of his mouth. Nicolai, without thinking, let his tongue swipe at the corner of his mouth. He didn't taste anything. Demetri's smile widened. "No, it's — here." Demetri licked the pad of his thumb and wiped it across the corner of Nicolai's mouth, the opposite one that he had licked. Nicolai's nose scrunched up afterward.

     "That was gross," he commented, though his eyes followed the movement as Demetri brought his thumb to his mouth and licked off the blood there. Demetri dropped his hand and grinned. His eyes were glittering; Nicolai was pretty sure his own eyes were doing the exact same thing.

     "And you call Heidi dramatic," he drawled. Nicolai opened his mouth, closed it, and then pouted.

     "Whatever, Demi." The nickname wasn't said out of spite this time. In fact, it came out like he cherished the word. Demetri's grin slowly fell off of his face, and now a new tension surrounded them. It wasn't the awkward tension of old lovers being reunited, nor was it an angry tension Nicolai was sure would come sooner or later. It was something deeper than that. A sad kind of thing. Nicolai was quick to lose his smile as well.

     Their eyes no longer shined.

     "Demetri, I — " _I missed you. I loved you. I still love you. I didn't mean to hurt you when I left_. Nicolai wasn't sure which one he had been planning on saying. Maybe all of them. Felix saved him from saying any of them.

     "Where are we going, Nic?" he asked, planting his hands on his hips as Heidi licked her lips. Nicolai eyed all three of them, and then smiled.

     "Find me a car," he ordered, grin widening. "I know exactly where we can go."


	13. Crashing Down

     "When did you buy this place?" Heidi asked as Nicolai turned down the driveway. Much like the Cullen house, Nicolai's was so deep in the forest that most humans in the area had completely forgotten it was even there. Nicolai had bought the place five years prior, handing over so much money that he would never have to worry about it for a decade or so. He had only lived in it for a month before he saw Aro decide to start searching for him again. He had panicked and fled, only to see that Aro had changed his mind. His paranoia had kept him far away from the only permanent residence he owned ever since, but now he didn't see the point.

     "A few years back," he said vaguely, focusing on the long driveway ahead of them. It was icy, and even though a car crash wouldn't hurt any of them, he rather liked the car Heidi had stolen for him.

     "Has this been where you were staying this whole time?" Demetri suddenly asked, his first words since he had wiped the blood from Nicolai's mouth. Nicolai had to focus not to break the steering wheel in his hands. The mansion he had bought so many years ago was coming into view. He spoke as softly as he could.

     "No," he whispered. The car jerked when he hit the brakes, and he was one of the first out of the car. Heidi gave him a questioning look at she climbed out. Nicolai could see snowflakes sticking to her cheeks. He gave her a soft smile. "Aro decided to send someone after me a week after I moved in. I haven't been back here since." With that, he nodded toward the front door. "Shall we?"

     The reminder of just what Nicolai had been doing all these years made the same awkward tension as before descend around them. All of them were silent as they entered the mansion, so silent that Nicolai could hear the snow hitting the ground as it came down. Nicolai shook his head and went in after the other three. The mansion was covered in dust. Most of the furniture had white sheets over them, but the rest had been left in the open. He wrinkled his nose in distaste when he noticed.

     "I'm going to have to clean, aren't I?" he murmured, more to himself than to any of the others. Still, Felix answered him.

     "Technically, you don't _have_ to clean," he told him, drawing his finger across one of the uncovered tables. He grimaced right after and cleaned his finger off on his jeans. "Though it would be preferable." Nicolai crossed his arms over his chest, shooting Felix a dirty look.

     "Considering you're the reason it's this dirty," he drawled, voice cold even to his own ears, "then technically _you_ should be the one cleaning. Get to work." Felix scowled at him, but Nicolai was already turning away and heading for the stairs. He had left a lot of his clothes here five years ago, and considering the fact that the snow was melting fast on his sweater, he wanted to get out of his current outfit as fast as possible.

     He was shifting through the outfits hanging inside plastic wraps in the closet when he heard someone enter the room behind him. Nicolai didn't turn around to greet him. He already knew who it was, and since there was only one thing they could possibly talk about, Nicolai didn't want to face him anytime soon.

     "Need a shirt?" he said after a moment of silence, keeping his voice light. Like the love of his life wasn't currently behind him. Demetri sucked in a sharp breath.

     "Nicolai — " Nicolai yanked a random shirt off of its hanger and threw it over his shoulder, making Demetri stop whatever he was going to say in order to catch it. When he turned around fully, another shirt in his hands for himself, Demetri was staring at him.

     "Not now," Nicolai told him, the light tone in his voice now gone. "Not when Felix and Heidi are here and can hear every word." Demetri frowned at him. They both knew the odds of Felix and Heidi leaving them alone probably wouldn't happen, not for a week, at the least. By then, Nicolai would have figured out how to avoid it another way.

of Felix and Heidi leaving them alone probably wouldn't happen, not for a week, at the least. By then, Nicolai would have figured out how to avoid it another way.

     "Nic — "

     " _Not now_ ," Nicolai growled, brushing past him without another glance. He almost expected Demetri to stop him from going, follow him, put his arm out to block his path, anything.

     He was scared when he realized he was disappointed that Demetri hadn't.

♦ ♦ ♦ ♦

     Nicolai and Demetri were going to kill each other.

     Figuratively, of course, but Nicolai was pretty sure there was a literal threat in there somewhere. They had started off so well. Civil, if a bit distant. But there was only so much time that could go by without their personal history being brought up, and Nicolai was just impressed that they had lasted this long without arguing.

     Although, he certainly had never expected for it to come up just because Nicolai and Felix were arguing over what to watch on TV.

     It was his own fault, Nicolai knew that. If he hadn't of kept avoiding the subject — hadn't kept making excuses — then things definitely wouldn't have gotten so bad that Demetri and Nicolai ended up having a shouting match in the middle of the living room, with Felix and Heidi watching with wide eyes and slack jaws. Nicolai couldn't even remember what had started the argument. Had Demetri made the first snide comment, or had Nicolai? Who had snapped first? He couldn't even remember the details; they were a blur of harsh words and thinly-veiled jabs between the two.

     "I'm _not doing this now_ ," Nicolai snarled at last, watching as Demetri's eyes narrowed into slits. He threw his arms out wide, as dramatic as he had always been. Nicolai didn't know if he wanted to smile at the gesture or scream out of pure frustration.

     "You've been saying that since we got here!" Demetri exclaimed. Nicolai really hated that he had a point. Of course he realized Nicolai had been making excuses.

     "Well, this isn't awkward at all," Felix whispered, obviously talking to himself. Heidi snorted, and that was enough to make both Nicolai and Demetri give them dirty looks. Felix raised his hands innocently, while Heidi rolled her eyes and got to her feet, dragging Felix along with her.

     "We're hungry, anyway," she said, dragging Felix toward the door. Nicolai wanted to call out to her, tell her to not leave just yet. He wasn't ready to be with Demetri alone. Still, he kept his mouth firmly shut as he watched them leave the house. Neither of them spoke as they waited for them to get out of hearing distance, and when they finally did, Nicolai glanced at Demetri.

     "We're alone," Demetri pointed out, not bothering to keep the annoyance from his voice. "Feel like talking now?" 

     "I had to leave," Nicolai burst out. He hadn't planned on what he was going to say, but the words came easily to him now. "I hated it there. I tried convincing you to come with me, remember? You refused. Stop acting like this is _only_ on me."

     "He gave us a _home_ , Nicolai — "

     "He gave us a _prison_ ," Nicolai snapped, making Demetri snap his mouth shut. "None of it was _real_ , Demetri. If Chelsea didn't have her claws so deep in you, you'd be able to see that." Demetri didn't seem to have a response for that. Nicolai could see the confusion on his face; Chelsea's gift was very well-hidden unless one knew what to look for. Nicolai had only noticed because there was a pattern. They would go to a coven Aro thought was a danger to their secret; he'd condemn them as guilty, and then offer specific members in the coven who held gifts a spot in the Volturi; and then the previously loyal coven member would drift into a daze, listen to Chelsea speak, and then join the Volturi. It was exactly what had happened with Nicolai and Demetri.

     The memories were fuzzy. Chelsea's gift seemed to cause confusion about loyalty in general. Had Nicolai always hated Amun as much as he did now, or was that just Chelsea's influence? He couldn't tell what bonds he had before the Volturi were genuine or not. The only thing he was sure of was what he had with Demetri — something that was still there, only Nicolai wished that it wasn't. It would have made this so much easier if the feelings were gone.

     "You could have stayed," Demetri said at last, jaw clenched tight. Nicolai pursed his lips, but didn't respond. "Leaving the Volturi is the hardest thing anyone could do. You've been running ever since."

     "And whose fault is that again?" Demetri pressed his lips together. Nicolai sighed. "Besides, leaving the Volturi was the easiest decision I've ever made, love." The endearment came out before he could stop it. It seemed to cross a line both of them had been careful to avoid ever since they were reunited. Nicolai didn't see the point of avoiding it anymore, so he added, "It was leaving _you_ that was the hard part."

     Demetri was silent for a long time.

     "Well, I suppose that doesn't mean much now, does it?" Nicolai didn't bother responding. It was true, either way. Demetri was quiet for a long time, and then — to Nicolai's surprise — he turned the conversation to the confrontation between the Volturi and the Cullens. "Why did you leave? I would have thought you'd stay and fight with them, if it came to that." Nicolai opened his mouth, closed it, and then let out a small sigh. 

     "I still wasn't sure if there was going to be a fight or not," he admitted with a shrug. "I had already decided that I wasn't going to stick around for it."

     "Why not?"

     Nicolai let out a small huff, looking at Demetri with mild exasperation.

     "They were going to kill you, Demetri," he said flatly, watching Demetri's eyes widen a bit. He certainly hadn't expected that. "You were their main target. You, Jane, and Alec. If it came down to a fight, they knew they would lose, but they were going to take some of you down with them." He hesitated, and then swallowed the ball suddenly lodged into his throat. "I already saw you dying in one of my visions of that day — before Alice and Jasper had found that hybrid. I didn't really feel like seeing it again. And then when I saw myself dying saving you, well...If I had stayed and the if the fight had happened, one of us would have died, and the other would have felt empty for the rest of our lives. Forgive me if I didn't want that to happen."

     "I didn't think you cared that much anymore," Demetri admitted, sounding a bit sheepish. Something softened around them then. The tension was gone, and now it just seemed...sad. They would never be like they were before. The thought made Nicolai's stomach twist.

     "Of course I still care." He hesitated again, and then shrugged and met Demetri's gaze. He didn't see the point of not telling him now. It might be the last time he'd get a chance to. "I love you."

     With those three words, it was like a dam broke, the remains of the already crumbling wall between them turning to dust. Demetri's careful mask was crumpling, falling off of his face in pieces right in front of Nicolai's eyes. What little control that remained in either of them vanished, and despite the fact this it had been Nicolai who had said the words, it was Demetri who moved first, shooting forward so fast that he became a blur around the edges. Like he thought if he didn't move quick enough, Nicolai would slip through his fingertips again. He cupped Nicolai's face, and Nicolai only had enough time to close his eyes and grasp desperately at Demetri's shirt before their lips crushed together. The kiss was hard, conveying every emotion both of them were feeling in that moment. Love, sadness, anger, lingering hints of betrayal, affection, a tenderness that neither seemed to be able to shake off no matter how hard they tried. They never had the ability to be casual, never had the luxury of just _not caring_ when it came to each other.

     Love was a very painful thing when neither of them wanted it anymore.

     Their clothes shredded under each other's hands like paper.


	14. Finally

     Demetri wouldn't let go of his hand.

     Nicolai had tried taking it back, only once to push his hair back, but Demetri only tightened his fingers, and Nicolai didn't have the heart to force his fingers free. They hadn't spoken more than a handful of words since they decided spending the rest of the day in bed together was a good idea. Nicolai was grateful for that. He was happy, even though he knew it wouldn't last. He was hoping to soak in that happiness for a little bit longer.

     So when Demetri shifted, Nicolai squeezed his eyes shut and buried his face into Demetri's bare shoulder, hoping the other vampire would get the hint and not speak.

     "Nicolai — "

     "Shut _up_ ," he groaned, throwing his arm over Demetri's abdomen and shifting even closer, burying his face into his neck this time. He was a bit relieved when he felt Demetri's fingers sink into his hair. "Just _be quiet_. I want to enjoy this a little more before reality sets in." Demetri didn't respond, and Nicolai — thinking that Demetri was actually going to listen and be quiet — let himself relax once more against Demetri's body. Demetri was still holding one of his hands (he had switched to the one on his stomach) so Demetri settled with tracing the lines on his palm until he was brave enough to try talking again.

     "I — "

     "If you're having trouble shutting up, I can put your mouth to better use," Nicolai said against Demetri's skin, almost tempted to bite him harmlessly to get his point across. He would much rather have sex again than talk about the future they didn't have. He could feel visions building up inside his mind, visions he had been forcing back so that he could enjoy his time with Demetri without any distractions. He could feel the pressure building up behind his eyes as he laid there.

     "Nicci." The nickname, said in a voice soft with love and adoration, made him pause. He glanced up at Demetri through his lashes. "Can you please explain to me why I have so much hatred toward Aro right now?"

     At that, Nicolai pushed himself up by his arms and stared at him.

     "What?" he whispered. Demetri frowned, releasing Nicolai's hands briefly to run his fingers through his own hair before tangling their fingers together again.

     "I was thinking about what you said earlier. About Chelsea," he explained, staring up at the ceiling with an expression on his face that Nicolai had only seen once before, when he had told Demetri he was leaving all those years ago. A look of betrayal truly was heartbreaking. "And I realized that I...I can't remember how we joined? When I realized I couldn't remember, I started feeling hatred toward Aro. I don't know where it came from." Frowning, Demetri took his hand back to run it down his face. "I sound insane."

     "Chelsea can break and create emotional bonds, Demi," Nicolai said as gently as he could, though the blow probably didn't hurt any less. "The loyalty you felt toward Aro, toward the Volturi in general, was fabricated by her. I figured it out. That's why I left." Demetri stared at him for a long moment. Demetri had always been good at taking in emotional blows with ease. Nicolai was sure the emotional blow wasn't anywhere as strong as the anger he could practically see rising at a steady pace.

     "How were you able to leave, then?" he asked, finally breaking the silence. Nicolai sighed and sat up fully then. Demetri did the same.

     "She stopped using her gift on me for some reason. I guess she figured, as long as they had you, I would stay. I wouldn't let them use you against me." He secretly thought that was why they had never hurt Demetri to get him back; they thought he didn't care. It wasn't until Aro saw into Edward's mind — thus, into Nicolai's — that he realized Demetri was a weakness he could exploit. It was precisely why he had sent Demetri after him this time, hoping that he'd want Demetri back so badly that he would come back to the Volturi just to be with him, not taking into account that maybe Demetri wanted Nicolai just as much.

     Turns out, Demetri being near Nicolai _had_ been a risk. Nicolai could practically see the bonds created by Chelsea falling off of Demetri one string at a time. The only bond she couldn't break was a bond like theirs; Nicolai guessed it was so strong that it broke all of the others. Or at the least made them useless now, weak enough for Demetri to break through.

     "Wait..." Slowly, Nicolai sat up. Their discussion finally seemed to register in his brain. Demetri was angry and full of hatred and betrayal, but none of those feelings were direction at him. In fact, Demetri seemed almost ashamed to look at him now, but Nicolai would deal with that later. All he could focus on now was the fact that Demetri had _realized_.

     He was so distracted that the visions came through. He flipped through them so quickly that he couldn't see details, just a certain face. The same face in every single one, over and over and over until he felt like crying tears he could never shed.

     "You're staying," he choked out, barely noticing when Demetri brought him into an embrace to comfort him. "You're actually going to stay with me?" Demetri sighed into his hair.

     "Of course I'm going to stay with you," he murmured, holding him tighter. "I love you."

~ ~ ~ ~

     Convincing Heidi and Felix not to go back was easier than either thought it would be.

     The thing about Heidi and Felix was that they were so low in the guard that Chelsea didn't bother keeping their bonds up. The only time she used her gift on either of them was when she persuaded them to join. After that, with their covens dead, they had no one _but_ the Volturi, and they stayed loyal whether they wanted to be part of the Volturi or not. Felix had decided not to go back first. He knew they were going to die if they came back empty-handed, and his sense of self-preservation was stronger than the faux-loyalty he had convinced himself was real all these years.

     Heidi took longer, her main concern being leaving the Volturi like Nicolai had. She wasn't like Nicolai; she didn't have a gift so special that Aro didn't want to waste it. Hers was useful, but it wasn't one-of-a-kind. She could easily be replaced.

     "If you go back alone, you're going to die anyway," Felix had told her. That had finally convinced her, though she still seemed reluctant.

     "We're going to be hunted for this," Heidi whispered, eyeing them all down. Nicolai shared a glance with Demetri, who arched an eyebrow.

     "I can see the future," Nicolai said slowly, "and Demetri is the best tracker in the world. As long as we're all together, we should be fine." Heidi didn't seem convinced, and even Felix looked nervous now. Nicolai sighed. "Okay. I have an idea. Just...just let me talk, okay? I'm begging."

     "Why?" Felix demanded. Nicolai gave him a flat look.

     "Because you're not exactly Edward Cullen's biggest fan, Felix."


	15. You Owe Me

     "Don't they know we're here?" Heidi whispered from where she was perched on a tree branch. All of them were on branches, actually, watching the Cullen house. Felix was completely still, looking out for the wolves Nicolai had warned them about. Nicolai wasn't worried. He just kept listening and waiting. They were packing — it was time for them to move on from Forks — and Nicolai was just waiting for the right time to jump from the tree and talk to them. He was surprised that Edward hadn't come out to greet them, but that thought was quickly rectified when he saw him, Bella, and Renesmee step out of the woods. Edward whispered something to Bella, who nodded. She only took one step toward the house before Renesmee glanced up, as if she sensed Nicolai's presence. With a shriek, she jumped from Bella's arms.

     With a laugh, Nicolai let go of Demetri's hand and jumped from the tree branch, hitting the ground just in time for him to catch Renesmee. She was much bigger now, looking around five-years-old. Nicolai let out a small breath in disbelief.

     "What are you two feeding her?" he asked, shooting a glance at the hybrid's parents. Bella smiled at him; her eyes were a dark amber now, with only a little bit of red remaining. Edward, however, was as tense as Felix was. His gold eyes were blazing with barely concealed anger, and his eyes kept shifting up to where Felix, Demetri, and Heidi were still perched on the tree. Nicolai turned just in time to see Demetri raise his hand and give Edward the most mocking wave Nicolai had ever seen in his life. He gave a tired sigh, shooting his mate a warning glare. Demetri just shrugged. Edward was glaring at Demetri like he was the worst thing he had ever seen.

     Nicolai knew he should have come alone.

     "They're not wearing their cloaks," Bella observed, since it was obvious neither of their mates were going to break the glaring contest anytime soon. "Does that mean what I think it means?" As she spoke, Renesmee dropped from Nicolai's arms and craned her head back to look up at the three vampires in the trees. Heidi waved at her, and she giggled. That was when the rest of the Cullens decided to come out and greet him. He guessed they were all waiting to see if Nicolai was now a bad guy or not. He couldn't fault them in that.

     "Nicolai!" That was Alice, who immediately brought him into a hug. He hugged her back, his smile growing wider. "I've been wanting to meet you for so long! You have to tell me how different it is for you, seeing the future, because sometimes I get really bad headaches and I drift off and sometimes I accidentally tell people something that hasn't happened yet and I _think_ it's happened — "

     "I'd love to," Nicolai said, feeling guilty for interrupting her, "but unfortunately I can't stay long. I just dropped by to ask you for a favor." At that, he turned to face Bella. Everyone went silent as Bella's eyes widened. "Have you figured out how to shield someone if you don't know where they are? And does it have, like...a distance problem?" Bella frowned at him.

     "I know how to shield people who I'm familiar with, no matter how far away they are," she admitted after a moment. "I've been practicing with Eleazar, Kate, and Garrett, who're in Alaska. I can only hold it for about five minutes, though." Nicolai felt a wave of relief go through him. He opened his mouth to ask the favor, but before he could, Edward spoke.

     " _No_ ," he said, voice coming out distorted. He was glaring at Nicolai now. He was surprised by the amount of hostility that was coming from him. The Cullen family all looked at Edward in confusion, while Demetri had dropped from the branch as soon as he heard Edward speak. Nicolai could feel his presence a foot behind him. He could only imagine the glare he was giving Edward in that moment. A second later, Felix and Heidi were down off of the tree as well, and Renesmee was safely attached to Esme's leg.

     "Edward — " Nicolai tried, only to be cut off again.

     "No."

     "What are you saying no to?" Bella demanded, rounding on her husband, a bit of irritation seeping into her voice. "What's going on, Edward?"

     "It doesn't matter," Edward told her, voice gruff. "The answer is no."

     "I don't think you have the right to decide that, Edward," Alice added, glaring at her brother with her arms crossed over her chest. Nicolai was surprised, though he didn't know why. Of course Alice knew what he came here to ask.

     " _What's going on_?" Bella demanded, facing Nicolai now. Nicolai glanced at Edward, who glared at him in warning. Nicolai snorted.

     "The Volturi is going to send Alec and Jane after the four of us eventually. I was just wondering if you would be willing to shield us when the time came. It wouldn't have to be for long, just long enough for us to either get away or kill them ourselves. I know it's risky — " Once again, Edward interrupted him, and Nicolai found himself looking at the sky in utter exasperation as Edward forced them all to listen to his point.

     "It _is_ too risky," he snapped. "No. Absolutely not."

     "You _owe me_ , Edward," Nicolai said after a moment. As soon as the words left his mouth, he knew he had ruined whatever friendship he and Edward had. If Nicolai had to, he would manipulate and twist whatever Edward had said to him before. He had helped the Cullens at the time in a moment of selflessness, but one moment of kindness didn't erase the fact that the Cullens owed him, and he was going to collect. "I risked _everything_ for you and your family. I risked my freedom _and_ my life, and I almost lost both. All I'm asking for is a few minutes of protection when the time comes. You're lucky I'm not asking for more, because as far as prices go, this is probably the cheapest one you'd ever have to pay."

     "It's _too risky_ , Nicolai," Edward repeated, as if he hadn't heard a word Nicolai had just said. He felt Demetri step closer to him, felt his hands rest on his upper arms. Whether he was offering support or getting ready to pull him away from Edward if he chose to attack, Nicolai didn't know. Knowing Demetri, it was probably a mixture of both. "If Aro ever finds out that she's shielding all of you from him — "

     "That won't happen, because I'll be able to see if he sends anyone to question you about me. I'll warn you, you know I will."

     "Plus, I'll be able to see something that you can't," Alice added. Nicolai nodded at her, showing his thanks. She smiled at him.

     "I'm just going to need Bella's help if he decides to send Jane, Alec, or Chelsea," he repeated, adding on the woman as an afterthought. Demetri's hands tightened around his arms at her name. "That's all I'm asking." Bella glanced between Nicolai and Edward, frowning in thought, before she turned toward her husband and cupped his face between her hands.

     "Edward," she said in a whisper, her voice gentle. "I can do this. I _want_ to do this." His jaw clenched beneath her hands, making them fall to her sides.

     "No."

     Nicolai saw red.

     "So, what, _your_ family is more important than mine?" he snapped, losing his temper quickly. Demetri squeezed his arms, but Nicolai ignored him. "Is that what you're saying?" Edward, with a harsher glare than before, waved a hand at Felix, Heidi, and Demetri.

     "You can't even trust these people," he snapped. Nicolai's teeth snapped together.

     "Funny," he spit out. "They said the same thing about you. Guess who I'm more inclined to believe right now?" The jab made Edward growl and take a single step forward. Demetri's hands disappeared from Nicolai's arms. He was so fast that Nicolai couldn't have stopped him even if he wanted to. He was in front of Nicolai in under a second, in Edward's way, and staring at the mind-reader with a calm expression that was truly frightening.

     "I dare you," Demetri drawled, almost sounding bored. Those were the only words he said, but the Cullens immediately reacted. Nicolai, Bella, and Alice were the only ones who didn't shift into fighting stances. Nicolai, with a sigh, gently touched Demetri's shoulder. They shared a single look, and then Demetri was stepping back and allowing Nicolai to look at Edward again. He didn't step behind him, though, remaining at Nicolai's side and staring at Edward coolly. He was so confident that Nicolai almost laughed until he realized he had a reason to be.

     Even outnumbered, if this came to a fight, four Volturi members would win every time. They trained for situations like this. They had won against worse odds before.

     Edward, after a tense moment of silence, finally said, "I'm not going to risky my family for you."

     "So it's perfectly fine for _me_ to risk everything for _you_ , but when I ask you to return the favor, you don't want to be bothered?" Edward pressed his lips together, but didn't respond. "No matter. I didn't come here to ask _you_ for permission. I came here to ask _Bella_ , and I'm pretty sure she's an adult with a functioning brain and is more than capable of deciding for herself." With that, he turned away from Edward and looked at Bella instead. "It's your decision. Say no and we'll leave and never bother you again."

     Bella didn't even hesitate.

     " _Yes_."

     Edward released an exasperated breath. "Bella — "

     "I made my decision," she stated, not even looking at him. "Of course I'll help you, Nicolai. It's the least I could do. Especially after the tree incident." Nicolai couldn't help letting out a small laugh at that. Demetri glanced at him in confusion, but Nicolai only shook his head. The laugh seemed to be the last straw for Edward, because once again he growled at Nicolai, only this time harsher than before. Nicolai's smile slipped for his face. Demetri took a step forward, but Nicolai grabbed his wrist, keeping him in place. Nicolai observed Edward a moment before he smiled. It wasn't a nice one. It was dangerous, and anyone could read the threat behind it.

     "I suggest you stop threatening me, Edward," he said, forcing himself to stay civil. He didn't want to fight, but if it came down to it, he _would_ defend himself. "You think you can win this fight. You're wrong. And believe me, I _really_ don't want to fight you, but I will if you attack me first."

     "Come on, man," Emmett muttered, looking oddly nervous. He didn't want to fight either. Nicolai looked at him, and his dangerous, threatening smile changed into a genuine one as soon as he did. The change was unnerving.

     "I'm serious, Em, I don't want to fight him. But I'm not going to stand here and _let him_ growl at me, are you serious? It's honestly rather rude." He crossed his arms over his chest. "Besides, it's not my fault he turns into an insolent brat the second Bella makes a decision he doesn't like." With that in mind, he turned back toward Edward, frowning now. "That's not how a healthy relationship works, by the way. You're over a hundred years old and you have a _daughter_ , Edward. This kind of reaction to Bella not doing what you say isn't normal, and it certainly isn't how actual adults who respect their partners behave. Grow the hell up."

     Someone giggled then, and Nicolai shot Alice an incredulous look. She only shrugged.

     "You'll have to stay in range of my shield, no farther than from here to Alaska. That's the furthest I've gone," Bella said at last, not looking at Edward. If looks could kill, Nicolai would have been dead yesterday. Bella stepped forward, and Nicolai was surprised to receive a hug from her. Nevertheless, he hugged Bella back. When they pulled away, Renesmee was making her way toward them again. She reached up to Bella, who picked her up so that she could press her small hand against Nicolai's cheek.

     "I'll miss you, too, Nessie," he said after seeing her sad thoughts, smiling at her. She grinned back.

     "Call me when you need me, okay?" Bella asked, holding her daughter close to her chest. Nicolai nodded and gave her a small smile.

     He didn't look at Edward when he left.


	16. Epilogue: We Deserve A Happily Ever After

     "This is the fifth person we've killed since we left the Volturi. The _fifth_ ," Felix ranted as he threw someone's leg into the fire they were surrounding. Nicolai gave him a droll stare, fed up with his complaining.

     "Oh, I'm sorry," he drawled, arching a brow at him. "Are you getting tired of being hunted like a dog, Felix?" Nicolai wasn't bothered by the attack. Aro seemed to have given up his search for them, and was now sending guard members he wanted gone anyway just to seem like he _wasn't_ giving up. He no longer had Demetri at his disposal, and with Nicolai being able to see the future, he wasn't about to risk sending Jane or Alec. Bella's gift was no longer necessary, though Nicolai always kept her number at the ready just in case. Aro had already decided that Jane and Alec were just too valuable to send after them, but he could change his mind, if he grew desperate enough.

     Nicolai thought Aro was afraid of the twins never coming back because they would see what kind of man he really was, and he always laughed when it popped up in his head.

     "Try being hunted by someone like you," Nicolai continued, narrowing his eyes in annoyance when Felix sent him an ugly look. "Or, better yet, try being hunted when someone like Demetri is tracking you _every single damn time_." He glared hard at the vampire, who shifted uncomfortably on his feet once he realized he had put his foot in his mouth. Again. "I literally never want to hear you complaining about this _ever again_. Aro isn't even trying anymore. He's just sending these weaklings for show, using us to dispose of him as he does."

     "And you don't have a problem with that?" Felix demanded in disbelief. "We're not even with Aro anymore and he's _still_ using us." Nicolai only shrugged, shifting the arm thrown over his shoulder as he did. Demetri had been so lost in his thoughts that he hadn't been paying attention, but at Nicolai's shrug, he turned toward him and shifted closer, pressing his chest against Nicolai's back and letting his arm slide forward until he was hugging his neck from behind. He nuzzled into Nicolai's jaw, his other arm circling his waist. One of Nicolai's hands went up to grab at Demetri's arm around his neck, while the other fell parallel to the one around his waist. He swayed where he was a little bit, making Demetri move with him.

     "I'm free of the Volturi," he said, deadpan. "As long as he doesn't change his mind and sincerely want us back, I don't care who I have to kill. It's not even hard. They're not even trained properly." He would have felt bad about it, except that one of the little bastards had been a newborn, and the scar he had left on Demetri's throat from a bite that had nearly severed his head from his neck made sure he no longer hesitated when the Volturi members caught up with them. 

     "It's weird seeing you talking about killing someone when you and Demetri are currently rocking back and forth like the disgusting couple you are," Felix shot right back, sounding just as done as Nicolai. Nicolai arched an eyebrow, smiling when Demetri turned his head and pressed a soft kiss to Nicolai's cheek. Felix made a show of imitating gagging sounds, while Heidi just giggled behind her hand.

     "You're just jealous because you don't have anyone to be this cute with." As Demetri said those words, Nicolai glanced at Heidi. Her eyes widened when she noticed his stare, but then they narrowed. Her lips peeled back from her teeth in warning, but Nicolai just grinned in response.

     "Come on, guys, let's go," Heidi said with a small sigh, her hands dropping from where they had been placed on her hips. She ran her hand through her hair, disrupting the styled curls. "This fire is close to the highway. The smoke is bound to catch attention, and I'm not in the mood to dispose of more bodies." Heidi started running, and Felix was quick to follow. Nicolai was about to follow, but Demetri's hand tugged on his own, making him pause. He turned back toward Demetri with an arched eyebrow.

     "We're going to be doing this forever, you know," was all Demetri said, taking both of Nicolai's hands in his own and threading their fingers together. Now that they were palm-to-palm, Nicolai let himself lean forward, the only thing supporting his body being Demetri. Demetri pushed him back, and Nicolai rolled back on his heels. He was caught by Demetri, and then he was being pulled forward again just to repeat the process. A huge grin spread across Nicolai's face.

     "And the other option is being in the Volturi forever," he drawled. "Which one sounds more inviting to you?"

     "I never said this wasn't inviting." At that, Demetri didn't support him when he leaned forward, and Nicolai fell into his chest. Demetri's arms were already around him, keeping him there. "In fact, I rather like this nomadic life with you. It's romantic, in a kind of bittersweet fairytale, on-the-run kind of way." Nicolai snorted, pressing his face into Demetri's chest.

     "Well," he drawled, tilting his face up and smiling when Demetri's lips immediately fell on his own. "We deserve a happy ending, love." With that, Nicolai pushed away from Demetri and ran after Heidi and Felix.

     This time, Demetri didn't hesitate to follow him.


End file.
